How can we solve the problem of poor relations with in-laws?

Question: The troubles between a wife and her husband’s relatives are among the problems that most often lead a marriage to divorce. It is seldom to find cordiality between a wife and her mother-in-law. My question is: how do you deal with this problem?

The answer: There are some points that must be obtained before the troubles begin.

1. Spouses, and their families as well, should have a good amount of comprehension, prudence, morals, and good faith, and this is what Islam emphasizes.

2. Spouses should try to keep away from the incentives of disagreement.

3. They should try to be independent in the abode and the domestic means.

4. They should refrain from spying on others in the family.

5. They should not reveal their secrets to others.

6. They should try to spread love among all by praising, thanking, and encouraging others.

However, if the problems begin, the following steps must be followed:

1. The problem must be belittled.

2. The problem must be limited only to the ones the problem relates to.

3. Others may give advice with lenient speech and smiles and some lectures about the afterlife, and they should avoid disputing. It would be better to mention some jokes to quiet the anger of the ones involved in the problem.

4. They should beware of suspecting and misunderstanding each other.

5. They should deal with the problem wisely and should humor the ones involved in the problem until the fire of the problem is extinguished.

Imam Ali (a.s.) says, ‘Humor people and you will enjoy their brotherhood. Meet them with smiles and joy and you will kill their spites