Question: I have a friend whose wife is sick and she cannot satisfy his sexual desire. At the same time, she strongly refuses to let him marry another wife. She acts like she’ll die whenever he wants to discuss this subject with her, though he has the right to marry another wife even if his first wife is sound. Then, how about it when she is sick? I wonder at the selfishness and the unjust jealousy of such women towards their poor husbands! My friend is always nervous because of his wife who is not ready to talk about polygamy. What do you suggest for a solution? Should my friend continue living with his wife and remain without children, satisfied lust, or comfort or should he marry another one regardless of what will happen?
The answer: This husband has the right to get married whether in order to get children, to satisfy his sexual lust, or to relieve his strained nerves, but executing this right requires great wisdom in caring for the moral side. He, to the extent of his abilities, has to convince his wife and assure her that he will not leave her alone or ignore her if she agrees on his marriage to another wife, rather her agreement shall make him love and respect her more. He must carry out his promise to her after her agreement.
If this attempt does not succeed, he should send some wise relatives of hers to convince her and explain to her the divine verdict in this concern. They should explain to her that by preventing her husband from marrying another, she will bring upon herself the wrath of Allah that will lead her to the torment of the afterlife because, by doing so, she denies one of the verdicts of Allah and prohibits a lawful right of her husband on the one hand, and on the other hand, she may lead her husband to commit unlawful acts. In fact, her permission is not a condition for the validity of her husband’s second marriage, but it is just a moral requirement.
If this attempt does not succeed either, then the decision is up to the husband whether he wants to live with her and make sacrifices for her or if he wants to get married to another, regardless of the consequences.
I myself know someone who went ahead and married another wife in spite of his wife’s threats, and then she submitted to the reality. However, I also know other people who married additional wives in spite of their wives’ threats, and their wives did in fact carry out their threats and caused their husbands many troubles.
I do not know which type the wife of your friend will be! I pray to Allah that she recovers her health and makes her husband happy, and I hope she will find pleasure in submitting to the verdict of Allah because nothing will be more useful to her than the verdicts of Allah, which surely have wisdom and advantages that may be unknown by man, for Allah is more aware than us.
Such women have to think of the pleasure of Allah and their ends in the afterlife. This life is transient and ages are too short however much they last! Then, let these women do good deeds and leave good remembrances after them!