Seven things Which Strengthen The Marriage

/in , , /by

Strengthen The Marriage

1) Good Attitude – A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, “Al Hamdulillah” (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn’t give us).

2) Worship – connection with Allah through ritual of prayer, petition and peace while moving together in the salat is something a non-Muslim can never really appreciate. Our prophet, peace be upon him, used to lead his wife in salat, even though he lived connected to the mosque. He told us not to make our homes like grave yards. We should offer some of our sunnah prayers at home. A sister gains the most rewards at home, in her room, behind a screen

3) Trust – Muslims, men and women are ordered to be trustworthy and follow the example of our prophet, peace be upon him, as the “Trustworthy”.

4) Respect – You get respect, when you give respect. This is mandatory for all Muslims toward all people, how much more toward the spouse?

5) Good Attitude – A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, “Al Hamdulillah” (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn’t give us)

6) Forgiveness – Clearly, this is one of the most important aspects of Islam. Whoever does not forgive – will not be forgiven. This comes from Allah, Himself. We must learn to forgive each other’s mistakes so we won’t it against us.

7) Time – Spend time, alone – together. Go for walks. Take a bus ride. Visit a friend or someone who is ill (you get big rewards for that). Fast together on Mondays & Thursdays if you can. Make hajj – this is a great way to get a “new start” on life. Trust me.

Seven things Which Weaken The Marriage

/in , , , /by

Divorce concept

1)  Leaving the worship – Allah will never be pleased with someone who leaves His guidance and does not worship Him. This will cause Muslim families serious problems and even to split up, faster than anything.

2) Ignore – not replying back to the “salams” or giving each other the good ear to listen and share.

3) Lying – Allah forbids the believers to lie. There is no room in Islam for liars, and may Allah save us from this evil, ameen.

4) Breaking Promises – Keeping a trust is also an important characteristic of a believer.

5) Avoiding Contact – You hug the brothers at the mosque, but what about a “little hug” with your wife? Come on, you can do it.

6) Suspicion & Backbiting – Allah says, “O believers, avoid much suspicion. Certainly suspicion is sinful. And don’t spy or backbite each other. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother. You would hate it. Fear Allah’s punishment. For sure Allah is the Acceptor of repentance, The Merciful.” [Quran 49: 12]

7) Too Busy – Take time for each other. You have rights on each other. Give everyone their rights and you will be given your rights.

 

Seven Tips To Be A Successful (Muslim) Spouse

/in , , /by

Successful (Muslim) Spouse

1-Be Pleasing To Each Other – After what pleases Allah, always seek to please your spouse, this is your key to Jennah.

Sisters: Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us that any woman who dies in a state that her husband is pleased with her, she shall enter Paradise. So, try your best to please him (even when you think it is not worth it – it is still worth it)

Brothers: Did you read the way our prophet, peace be upon him, dealt with his family? Wake Up! You must follow his way in helping with cooking, cleaning and taking care of your own clothes (he did it, you can do it too)

 2-Do not get Angry – Arguments a fire in your home – put out the fire as fast as possible. Our prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Do not become angry! Do not become angry! Do not become angry!”And he told us anger is from the devil (shayton) and the shayton runs through your body like your blood when you become angry.

Sisters: You already know men have a hard time admitting they are wrong. In fact, some men refuse to say it, and this is very dangerous for them, but also for you too. Be careful not to force the issues with him when he is upset. Treat him like the baby that he is imitating. Really, just take it easy and keep your cool. Allah will reward you and inshallah, Allah will guide your husband back on track.

Brothers: You know you are not perfect. Come on now, admit it and get it over with. Say, “I am sorry”. You can be the one to extinguish the fire of shayton in your home with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ even if you think it is not your fault.
When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let it go.”

3-Say, “Thank you” to your spouse constantly for the nice things done nicely.
Sisters: Prophet, peace be upon him, taught us; “Whoever does not thank the people, does not thank Allah“. So, just go ahead and say, “Thanks honey” and even add “Good job” or “Well done”. This is one of the most important techniques. Remember ungratefulness (opposite) is a characteristic of the people of hellfire. May Allah save all of us from that, ameen.

Brothers: When was the last time you said, “Thank you honey” to your wife for cleaning house, washing clothes, ironing, bathing the children, taking them to school, teaching them things? You say, “But she does that every day” — And that is the point! She is doing this day after day – But where is the pay? Give her something to make her feel worthwhile, say it!

4-Dress up for each other and look sharp. Islam encourages us to look and act our best in front of everyone, especially loved ones.

Sisters: Wear nice jewelry and dress-up at home for your husband. From the early years, young girls adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and wore nice dresses – as described in the Qur’an. As a wife, you should continue to use the jewelry and the nice dresses for your husband.

Brothers: Do you think only sisters need to “dress-up”? What about our prophet, peace be upon him? He wore his nicest clothes, he even made sure to wash his own garments. And what about smells? You know how important fragrance is. Don’t ever let her smell your stinky sweat. She smells nice for you, so at least put on nice fragrance for her – you do it at the mosque, right?

5-Be like the people of Paradise – Act right, think right and look right (try this tip today)

Sisters: Do you know about the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn(women of paradise)? Islam describes these women with certain characteristics. They wear silk, have beautiful, dark eyes, etc. Here are some ideas: Try it, wear silk for your husband, put eye make-up for your eyes to ‘enlarge’ them, and be sweet to your husband.

Brothers:
Where are your spouses going to get the fine silk dresses, provocative lingerie, sweet fragrance and makeup? Quran tells us (Surah 4, verse 34 – above) You are the one responsible to provide – so get with it and start providing.

6-Spread “Peace” amongst yourselves. This is in Islam for sure. The Quran talks about it, and our prophet, peace be upon him, said, “You will not enter Paradise until you believe and you will not believe, until you love each another. Shall I direct you to the way to love each other? Spread the “salams” (peace) between you.” – narrated by Abu Hurairah

Sisters: When your spouse comes home, give each other the most wonderful greeting of a Muslim – “Salam alaykum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatahu” Peace, Blessings and Mercy of Allah be to you, (and remember to smile).

Brothers: You give the “salams” to everyone you see, even brothers you just met. In fact, you are careful to give anyone you just met good salams – right? But what about your wife? The mother of your children? The one who is making dua for you every day and night? Do you give the proper salams to her, when you should? Entering and leaving the house? When you enter or leave a room?

7-Smile – It costs nothing and buys everything! Who can resist a nice, big, happy smile? It even makes me smile to think about it.

Sisters: Our prophet, peace be upon him, taught us; The smile in the face of our fellow Muslim is an act of charity. So you can keep peace in your family, make a sweet feeling in your home, get rewarded by Allah and maybe even a nice smile back.
Think how your husband would feel if he came in and found your nice clean home, his wife looking nicely dressed and made up for him, a nice dinner prepared with care, children cleaned up and welcoming him home. It really does help, even if he doesn’t say so.

Brothers: When was the last time you smiled at your wife? Can you recall the last time you brought home some flowers, chocolates, a small gift (nothing wrong with a nice of jewelry brother)?

SERVING YOUR WIFE IS A KIND OF CHARITY

/in /by

WIFE2

 

SERVING YOUR WIFE IS A KIND OF CHARITY

When a man casts a kind look at his wife

/in /by

WIFE11

Do not cast yourselves with your own hands into destruction

/in /by

A

 

Do not cast yourselves with your own hands  into destruction

seven secrets to Be a Successful Wife

/in , , /by

husband-wife1

1-Be the best wife you can be. Being a good Muslim wife is in many ways similar to being a good wife in other religions. Sure it has its own special features and requirements, just like any other religion. However, there are common basic methods and guidelines for being a good wife in general. Follow them.

2-Pray regularly. Always ask Allah for forgiveness and blessings on your marriage.

3-Understand and respect your husband and his rights. Study authentic haadith and make sure that you understand your obligations as a wife as well as understand your rights. In Islam, a good wife is expected to be honest, sincere and cognizant of her husband’s needs. At the same time her husband must respect her, fulfill her needs and even help her in household chores

4-Don’t expect the moon. He needs to keep trying, you need to keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. However, if you both keep working on your marriage, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. Should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense

5-8Accept him. Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you

6-Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile, hug and kiss him.

7-Stay with him during hard time. He will need his wife to listen to him, comfort him and give him the strength. Don’t be selfish

Seven significant means of anger

/in , /by

26-550x366

1-Anger is a secret weapon of man towards of evils but sometimes its result’s in the destruction of many noble qualities. It snatches away the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of any sense.
2-Anger is a temptation of shaytaan and deception of shaytaan
3-Anger is the root of all evils.
4-Anger is a spark of fire that are always bursting.
5-Anger is a very bad condition that weakens the person Iman (FAITH)
The meaning of anger is a rage fierce, displeasure, passion excited by a sense of wrong , physical pain, inflammation, mad, hot tempered, choleric, inflamed, A violent passion excited by real or supposed injury.
6-Anger is the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure.
7-Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure and hostility.

Seven Powerful Points to Avoid Anger

/in , , /by

anger

A man came to the Prophet (may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and his family) and asked him  for advice. He said:

7 Powerful Tips to Avoid Anger

“Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request for advice, and each time, the Prophet replied with this one phrase that sums up all good attitudes and behavior: “Do not become angry.”

While you may not be able to avoid people’s anger and aggressive attitudes, you can surely deal with such situations in a wise and productive manner.
Anger can be like a fire. And you can’t possibly combat fire by another spark of fire, or pouring fuel onto it – this would result in a massive fire that would swallow everybody, including yourself. Whereas pouring water onto fire will curb it, if not end it entirely. Having a calm, tolerant temper can combat anger like water extinguishes fire.

Reacting calmly and tolerantly to an angry situation might first seem passive – but who cares! If you want to just add fuel to the fire, the situation will probably spiral out of control and end up in a fight of unpredictable magnitude.
I agree that being a calm, tolerant person does require a lot of self-discipline, which is normally “difficult”.
Here are some time-tested tips for averting anger:

1. You have to understand that anger is not a matter of power or ability.
“The strong man is not the one who can wrestle, but it is the one who can control himself when he is angry.

2. Regard anger as an infection
Keep due distance from those ill-tempered people, regardless of the extent of their anger and the reason behind it. Don’t react in a manner that will signal hatred. Doing so will probably just exacerbate the anger and exasperate the situation.

3. Feel free to delay your reaction
It won’t bruise your dignity nor tarnish your image. You can end your presence in this situation. Whether physically or if it’s a phone conversation, or a virtual presence with chatting, and react later when you’re mentally ready to deal positively with the situation.

4. Keep the interest of the Muslim community in mind.

5. React with a calming statement.
For example, “I understand how you feel, I know you must be angry, etc. Try and avert the angered person from thoughts that continue to anger them.
6. A few kind words can have a surprising effect.
Reverting the whole situation into a pleasant tone will help lessen tensions. On the other hand, harsh words trigger retaliation. Watch your words because they can set the tone for an entire situation.

7. Don’t become that person.
If you hate the attitude of the person who’s angry, know that reacting in a harsh manner will render you pretty much similar to him/her, so you’d better be careful.
Be strong and make your calm manner contain the situation. Be wise. Self-control is cornerstone to curbing people’s anger.

Remember that our beloved Prophet  never took revenge over a personal matter.

It is narrated that “The Prophet never took revenge for his own sake, but if the laws of Allah were violated, he would take revenge for the sake of Allah.”

Remain wise and apply the virtue of patience, which is your key tool to avert aggressive and anger attitudes.

Remember, the relationships and attitudes you cultivate within your life will impact your productivity.

So remain positive and avoid negativity!

 

7 Rights of a Muslim Wife upon Her Husband

/in , , /by

64d420ca550642b9d865adc88a9fab181

Below are the 7 rights of a muslim wife upon her husband in Islam. Please share after reading.

1.  That he should make things easy upon her e.g. The chores and what he requires from her.

2. To be kind to her. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.”

3. A man should not hate his wife. Exalt the good and minimise her shortcomings. A man should not be angry at her faults and should look at her good. To look only good in her.

4.To spend upon her, to feed her. Not to be excessive in this and not to be stingy.

5. That the husband should be a reason for his wife to be saved from the hellfire. He should teach her and order her to forbid the evil and enjoy the good. Forbidding her from that which will lead to hell fire. O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed]angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.

6. A man must not boycott her and if he does (for a valid reason) he should do it inside of the home.

7. He should have the best manners with his wife. His wife should see the best of his manners. It is said that some men have the best manners out in the market , but when he goes home he is a ferocious lion! Kind to strange women in the markets but not to his wife in the home. The best of you are the best of you to your wives. There is no good in you if you want to help your friends but not your wife, there is no good in you if you are kind to your friends and not your wife. Combine the two , and that is good.

———————————————————–
Source:BYISLAM.COM
Retrieved from:Letter Of Peace newsletter (a part of the Guided Project)