Music in the Quran

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Here are four Ayats of the Qur’an which forbid the Muslims from indulging into music.

“So abstain from the pollution of the idols and abstain from false vain words.” (22:30).

The Arabic word “Zoor” has several meanings which include falsehood and the musical expressions. According to Imam Ja’far As-Sadiq (a.s.)

“pollution of the idols” means Chess and “Vain words” means music.

See how ‘Music’ has been joined in this Ayat with the pollution of idols”, only then you can appreciate the seriousness of the sin of Music.

“And of the people there is he who buys a ‘vain talk’ so that he may lead others astray from the path of Allah without (real) knowledge and takes it (the revelation of Allah) for a mockery for these shall be a disgracing chastisement (punishment).” (31:6).

‘Lahw’ means anything which diverts the mind from serious thinking. “Vain talk” has been interpreted by the Imam as some talk, sound or thing which diverts the attention of man from the ultimate aim of his creation; in other words makes him forget Allah and His commands. For example fictions and such useless talks. “It includes ‘Music’, intoxicants and all such diversions.”1
Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.) said:

Music is among the things for which Allah has promised the Fire (of Hell). Then he recited the above Ayat2.

“Indeed successful are the believers those who in their prayer are humble and those who keep themselves aloof from Vain (words and deeds).” (23:1-3).

‘Laghv’ (Vain words and actions): The first Imam, Imam Ali (a.s.) said that

“all that is void of the remembrance of Allah is ‘Laghv’.

According to other authentic traditions of Imams, ‘Laghv’ means all useless entertainment, wasteful of times among which music has been specifically mentioned. Also included in this term are vain games played just to while away the time.

“And the servants of the Merciful Allah are those………. who bear not witness to what is false, and when they pass by what is vain they pass with dignity”(25:72).

The words ‘Zoor’ and ‘Laghv’ have been explained earlier. According to the traditions of Imams (a.s.), the first part may also be translated in this way: “who do not witness what is vain”! And accordingly, it has been interpreted in the exegesis of the Qur’an as “do not listen to music.”
The following two traditions explain the second part:
Imam Ja’far As-Sadiq (a.s.) asked some of his companions:

“Where are you staying?”
They replied: “With so and so, who has singing and dancing girls. Imam said: “You should have dignity.”

They thought that Imam (a.s.) had advised them to treat that man generously. But they were not sure; so they returned to the Imam and requested him to explain his meaning to them.
Imam said:

“have not you heard Allah saying ‘when they pass by what is vain they pass with dignity’?

Imam meant that you should not stay with a man who has singing and dancing girls.
Second tradition: Muhammad bin Abi Ibad was known to indulge in music and liquor. He once asked Imam Ali Ar-Ridha (a.s.) about listening to music.
Imam said:

Some people in Hijaz have their own view about it but that view is absolutely wrong. Have you not heard the word of Allah ‘when they pass by what is vain they pass in dignity’?”

1. Tafseer As-Safi.
2. Kafi; Wasael us Shia; Tafseer As-Safi.

How I Found My Happiness?

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In 1968 I was born and raised in Hannover, a big city in Germany as a Christian, a Protestant, just because my parents were Christians.
All my life I believed in God but I have never been too religious.

When I prayed I prayed to God, not to Jesus. I never went for prayer into the church because in my opinion it wasn’t necessary, you can do the same at home to be close to God.

At 22, I got married to a Catholic and I’ve got three wonderful children. I taught them that God is always close to them and He protects us with His Angels. But in my marriage I became unhappy, my husband changed himself and he never talked about his problems with me. So slowly my marriage became broken. At this time I felt that I was losing my life, just everything.

In 1998 we moved to Wernigerode, a small town in East Germany for business reasons and I still hoped to save my marriage. When my youngest child was old enough for the Kindergarten I re-started to work. One of my colleagues was a Muslim but not a believing one. I didn’t realize how he taught me some Islamic manners.

One year later I started to change my life. I became able to accept things how they are, no matter if they have been good or not. I realized that everything is made by God. While that time I became stronger. After ten years my marriage was completely broken and I was scared to leave my husband, how could I survive as a mother with three children? But Allah’s ways are sometimes mysterious.

A couple of months later I got the answer. When I started with my first internet experiences I got to know someone on internet and he didn’t tell me that he is a Muslim. He was like the key to my new life Alhamdulilah. We shared our pictures, his was on his homepage. On that site I found two great links: one of the 99 names of Allah (at this time I never heard about) and one of the Qur’an.

I read the first chapter of the Qur’an and was so impressed that I wanted to read more. So I was looking for the German translation. My Muslim brother in the future, Abdul Rahman, didn’t know about this. I told him later that I was reading the Qur’an and he was so happy to hear it.
After a few weeks we got to know that he left the USA to move to Macedonia (at this time the war over there started) but he promised me to keep in touch with me. Alhamdulilah he did, and every time I was so happy to hear about him in these bad times. It was the first time I was afraid about someone I’ve never met before and made a lot of du’aa for him and his family.

I tried to improve my knowledge in Islam and in spite of our distance he gave me great advice to encourage me. My new faith and my belief in Allah gave me the courage to change a lot of things in my life. I left my husband and started a new life. It was a hard time for me but I felt how Allah was always close to me.

I will never forget the day when I had the strong wish to convert. My children found outside a kitten and we tried to save it. I prayed to Allah to let that little creature live. He gave him one week. I woke up at night and found our kitten dead. His body was still warm and I was so sad. I asked Allah why He did it. After a sleepless night I realized in the morning that it had been God’s will. He gives and He takes life. That was the moment; I knew I had to convert as soon as possible. Allah gave me a sign. Unfortunately there wasn’t and still isn’t a Muslim community here.

To convert to Islam, I needed to go to Braunschweig, a town in the western part. I met some brothers and sisters and the Imam on the station, my train was late and I hadn’t much time to stay and to go to the masjid before I had to return to my town. So I said the Shahadah at the station and one sister told me before I would feel like newborn and she was right. Masha’ Allah. It’s difficult to get some more knowledge in Islam without an Ummah and to bring up my children in the Islamic way but I don’t give up.

When I told my family and my friends about my conversion, they were shocked and except for my Mom and my little brothers, they didn’t want to talk with me. I was so sad about that, but I couldn’t leave my faith for my family or anyone else. My brother Abdul Rahman told me it would take time until my relatives would understand and he was right. Still my Dad can’t understand why I was so convinced about Islam and why I decided to wear a scarf. He said that I wasn’t born as a Muslim, it was not my culture. Insha’Allah one day he will understand too.

Hijab
So when I converted to Islam in 2001 nobody told me how I had to dress or that I had to wear hijab from now. I changed my habits and my dress slowly and almost one year later I’ve got more and more the wish to wear hijab but unfortunately I couldn’t.

I was invited by some sisters for Eid-ul-fitr in Braunschweig. I took the chance and left for the first time my home with a hijab. Masha’ Allah it was a wonderful feeling. I considered if I should continue but I didn’t want any problems for my children as the only German Muslim in town. I asked them and they agreed and a couple of days later, after a lot of du’aa, I realized my wish with Allah’s help.

It has been several years and I don’t regret my decision. I can’t imagine anymore leaving my home without a scarf. People are still looking at me because they are still not used to foreigners here (sometimes I’m being took for a Turk ) but when I have the chance to talk with some about Islam, especially about Muslim women, I do and I must say that I have only good experiences. I’m proud to be a Muslim, Masha’ Allah.

After all, I must say that I don’t regret one moment that I became a Muslim. Islam is sometimes hard but I have never been happier before and I thank Allah that He sent me someone like an angel, Brother Abdul Rahman, because I found the right path for my life.

Why has Islam prohibited music, and what is the philosophy in prohibiting it?

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Question:

Why has Islam prohibited music, and what is the philosophy in prohibiting it?

Answer:

Music has become so common that most people are not ready to think about music in its proper perspective (about the bad evil effect of the music) and follow ferociously this wrong way of thinking according to which whatever is in common practice is seen to be without blemish.
They are not ready to study the evil and pernicious effects of music. To the extent that the people who are realistic are not content to this condition also, and in spite of those things being common they always endeavor to understand the reality and are engaged in research.
Music from many viewpoints is worth investigation.
(1) It causes harm to the physics of human body and leaves a bad effect on the nervous system. Keeping these factors in mind a Professor of Columbia University, Dr. Wolf Adler says:

‘The best and most fascinating tunes of music leaves the worst kind of effects on the nervous system of humans and especially when the climate is hot; then the unpleasant effects are too much.’

The famous French expert Dr. Lycus Carl says:

“It is possible that the fulfillment of beastly lust might be having some importance, but there is nothing unfair than this that the life passes in fun.

The general deficiency of intelligence and understanding is the effect of alcohol and in the end it is the result of indiscipline in the habit. There is no doubt in it that films, radio, television are partner to the worrisome moment.
Generally music should be counted as something which has narcotic effect (which causes benumbing of sense), because, it’s benumbing cannot be denied by any means. There are many types of benumbing and a person can numb his nerves in different ways.
Sometimes numbness comes by food. For example alcoholic drinks create great numbness in the nerves and render ineffective the power of thinking and senses. Sometimes something is inhaled through the nose that creates numbness; for example heroine, which is absorbed in the body through the nostrils, which for a certain period of time makes one intoxicated and many such patients who require anesthesia by such matter, is injected into their veins.
Sometimes this numbness comes through the ears by listening to music and concert. This effect sometimes is so strong that it takes out the person out of reality like a dazed one. And his attention is withdrawn from everything.
Keeping this point in mind, you will agree that music is nothing but numbness and it is the bearer of all or most of the vices and damages of intoxication.
Mainly people get so much pleasure and entertainment from music because of this numbing effect. Sometimes this effect is so powerful that, a person loses his senses and brain to the extent that he starts behaving in a strange manner.

For example when the benumbing effect of music becomes severe a person’s power of making right decisions is curtailed. Then he cannot perceive correctly between good and bad, right and wrong, because most of the time he is under the effect of music and his mind, thoughts and strength of his senses, manners becomes prisoner of intoxication of the fierce tunes of the music. Hence he commits such uncultured actions, that in normal conditions doing such things he will think that it is against his status and contrary to human behavior.
We think that, this part of our conversations is not in need of any example or model, because every sensible person knows that, in those dinner parties where stranger males engaged in dances with unrelated stranger females, always they are consistent with loud keynotes of music, and the vibration of tunes of music puts curtain on the mind and understanding of the people in such a way that, for them doing every despicable act and all such acts which are below the dignity of humans, to perform them becomes so easy and simple for them.
What greater intoxication can be there other than this when the voice of music affects the mind of a person, a kind of indolence takes over his nerves? And that foolish person cannot think of anything from human imagination, except sex.

On his intelligence and on his power of comprehension a curtain is drawn in such a way that he forgets the sacred concepts of life like mercy, benevolence, kindness, chastity, modesty, trust, integrity, equality, brotherhood, greatness, eminence and magnificence, making efforts and hard work to fight for the attainment of the purpose and to be steadfast.

There is no second opinion that, right from day one, alcohol and music had been the greatest factors of encouraging sexual promiscuity for the lustful males and females and they on special occasions for intoxicating their nerves take help of these (i.e. alcohol and music).
It is correct that Islam never restrains man from his natural pleasures, but it prohibits those temporary and artificial entertainment created by intoxicating the nerves and arousing lustful desires and it takes away man from his natural condition.

Ethical limits of music

Is there any doubt that among the factors of moral deterioration are these writings and the heart-rending tunes of music do not spread its wings for propagating of arguments contrary to chastity?
Does not the fascinating voice of women and girls along with musical tunes arouse lust; create fervor for lovemaking in the youths? And the heart, which is packed with lustful songs and amorous writings, does it have any for remembrance of Allah? Does that heart, which is drowned in the whirlpool of loving voices and vibrations of music, can think regarding the needy and the poor?
As a principle it should be seen that what are the ingredients and occasions of musical parties. And what are the demands of and different kinds of stimulations? In those gay dance and music parties is there anything else except sexual promiscuity, wine and tasty foods? And the thing, which causes these evil consequences, can be allowed by a heavenly law?

The conclusion is that musical tunes have pernicious effects with regard to numbing of the nerves. And from the ethical point of view also it arouses lustful desires in the human beings.
By way of protecting health also it is proved that, in our time, there are different factors and causes of increase in the number of unexpected and sudden deaths, one of which is the craze of music, because music creates excitement and excitement damages the balance of nervous system.
People who are day and night bombarded by songs and music are prone to heart failure and brain hemorrhage.
However much is not necessary to show that nerves very soon become unserviceable because of continuous excitement.
This was one side of the harms of music.

Philosophy of Islamic Laws:Ayatullah Naser Makarem Shirazi, Ayatullah Jafar Subhani

My children have bad eating habits; how can I fix this problem?

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eatingQuestion: My children do not eat the useful food I serve at home. They like the foods of the restaurants, chocolates, and sweets. This harms their healths. What would you suggest for me to do?

The answer: In general, our societies have incorrect alimentary cultures. Even what mothers serve at home lacks the required elements of nutrition. Moneys and efforts are spent for the taste and pleasure of food in their mouths. Most people do not care how useful or harmful to their bodies the food that they eat is.

As for eating in restaurants, it is reprehensible, as in the Islamic traditions and as some Ulama’ think. They consider it as eating in the roads or some other sort of suspicious eating. I think that this is not absolutely right, because there are restaurants whose owners care for the legal and health aspects. Besides, eating in restaurants cannot be said to be eating in the roads.

However, it is not recommended to have meals at restaurants often and always, as is customary in our present societies and (lazy) families.

You should read books about serving healthy foods and consult with a specialist doctor to determine the proper diet for the family. You would be better off using a lot of legumes in your foods besides vegetable oils, especially olive oil.

You should replace chocolates and sweets with fresh fruits. Vegetables should always be eaten with the meals. Nuts, such as pistachios, hazelnuts, and almonds, are important for the body besides honey and milk, which are among the basic elements of food for the family.

You should follow attractive manners in inviting your children to the meals served at home. Explaining the advantages and disadvantages of foods has a great effect on children and makes them decide whether or not to accept those foods. Parents can play an important role in attracting their children towards the home-cooked foods when they themselves eat these foods. Of course, children always imitate their parents.

One should eat food only when he feels hungry, and he should not eat excessively more than his need. Allah says, (…eat and drink and be not extravagant) , and the Prophet (S) said, ‘we are a people, who do not eat until we feel hungry, and when we eat, we do not satiate ourselves (we do not eat excessively)’.

FOR A BETTER FUTURE

Is it acceptable to let our children be educated by the media, schools and streets?

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mediaQuestion: Someone who is unable to educate his children may say, “What is the importance of education? Let us leave our children to be educated by the media, the schools, and the streets according to the requirements of the present age, for man is the son of his age.” What do you think about this opinion?

The answer: I would say to such a person:

1. Your child is a divine blessing in your hand; if you neglect him, he will be a curse on you and on everyone having relations with you. Education is of the utmost importance, and it is not achieved properly if the people in charge (especially the parents) do not know its principles and successful manners.

2. “Your first child is a complete educational map to your other children…if you educate him properly, he will relieve you from half of your efforts in educating your other children.” “As you do not allow your children to go into water before you teach them the principles of swimming, do not allow them to go into the sea of life before you teach them the principles of dealing with others.”

3. Let your attitude towards education be: “the crying of your children today while you laugh and educate them properly is better than your crying tomorrow for their bad education and their laughing at their distresses” because “lenience at its time is like strictness at its time; both are required in education”.

4. Your children are your wealth in the future. The more you care for them today, the more fruits you will gain from them tomorrow, and the more you neglect them today, the more you shall suffer from their troubles and problems tomorrow.

5. Your children will be an evil over you in this life and torment in the afterlife if you do not educate them well.

After all this, would you say that education is not important?

FOR A BETTER FUTURE

My son monopolizes the telephone and spends too much money on phone calls; what can I do?

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phoneQuestion: My son talks with his friends on the telephone for an hour sometimes. He does not pay attention to the cost of it at all. He neither lets others use the telephone nor does he leave the line free for someone who may need to call us for something necessary. He does not think of the time that he wastes in nonsense and repeated talks of trivial things mostly. What should I do with him? I would like you to advise him and those like him and guide me to a solution for dealing with him.

The answer: First, I would like to ask you to be patient with him. Do not try to interrupt his calls with his friends by unplugging the telephone line as some fathers do, because this insult will leave a bad effect on him, and you shall pay the price!

Second, do not make him feel that you are spying on his calls!

Third, you can explain to him the negativities of busying the telephone for a long time and wasting the rights of the other members of the family in making or receiving telephone calls.

Fourth, you can give him some advices derived from the teachings of Islam, such as “when one’s mind is perfect, his speech becomes little”, “the best of speech is that which is little but full in meaning”, etc.

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My teenaged son keeps a very messy room, what can I do to break him of this bad habit?

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messy room
Question: My son is a teenager. He does not care for the cleanliness or arrangement of his room. He does not put things, such as books and clothes, in their places. Sometimes, he sleeps in his clothes that he wears when he goes out and sometimes even with his shoes. Everything about his behaviors is overcome by absolute disorderliness. I go to his room and arrange it properly, but after a short time the situation becomes as it was before. I am tired of his state, and I fear that he will remain so all his life.

The answer: I do not think that all the blame is on this young man. There might have been prior incidents in the family from where he has acquired this disorderliness.

He might have been so in his childhood. You should review that period to ascertain from where he has originally learned this disorderliness. He might have learned it from the manners of his parents or brothers, or from school, or from the environment he lived in and then he took that with him when he entered his youth.

Sometimes, parents do not teach their children how to undertake responsibility. A pampered child, who is given everything without making any effort, remains the same when he becomes a young man. He expects others to serve him as before. It is not right for a mother to say: “do not let my son be tired”, “I fear for him”, “let him rest”, “I serve him”, etc.

This way of education makes a child grow accustomed to irresponsibility, and when he grows older, he will not be able to manage his affairs, arrange his things, or organize his life, and this is the very failure.

The cause of disorderliness of the youth often stems from the kind of education they receive from their parents during childhood. So parents should not let their sentiments and excessive love for their children give them such a result later on.

Parents should teach their child that they will not undertake his responsibilities for him. Everyone has his own existence and duties in life. Cooperation is necessary, but it does not mean being lazy and burdening others with one’s own duties and tasks because this is an injustice and does not befit one with dignity and honor.

One of the reasons behind disorderliness in a young man’s life may be his discontent with his state for making him bored and aimless. Such a young man may be angry at something and so his disorderliness is a means of showing his anger and obstinacy to make others feel his suffering. Sometimes, the cause may be the state of adolescence and the change of instincts from which one suffers during the period of adulthood.

What is required in all these cases is as follows:

1. You should explain to your son the advantages of orderliness and its important effect on success and happiness in life.

2. You should inspire in him the spirit of undertaking responsibilities and encourage him with nice words of thanks and appreciation whenever he achieves something by himself.

3. You should not make yourself his deputy; rather, you should assist him in the task that he has to carry out. You can help him to carry out his duties, but little by little you should leave him alone to do his duties by himself.

4. You should teach him how to carry out some deeds and actions as a supervisor, without interfering in his achievement of them.

5. Let the things demanded from him vary and be free from monotony. You should not ask him to do things insistently or by threatening, shouting or begging.

6. You should not let him grow accustomed to stipulate certain things when you ask him to do something.

7. You should not punish him if he does not do what he promises to do.

8. You should be a practical example for him in all that you want from him, whether in orderliness, cleanliness, discipline, or any other good habits.

FOR A BETTER FUTURE

How should I deal with my toddler who asks incessant questions?

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questionsQuestion: My three-year-old son asks too much about anything that he notices or that comes to his mind. Sometimes, his many questions make me bored and angry to the degree that I chide him severely or sometimes hit him on his back to make him stop questioning. Of course, this behavior is not right, but life has become so tiresome that I lose my patience and become irritable at once. I would be so grateful if you would offer your instructions in this concern.

The answer: Your son has the right to discover everything unknown to him. He wants a satisfactory answer to every question that comes to his mind. This is a sign of sound mentality and intelligence. Your behavior, which you confess is not right, suppresses his intelligence and does away with his activeness, and this is a great wrong against him. You have to remember this whenever your boredom leads you to that wrong behavior. That is first.

Second, you should pave the way for him to learn because knowledge will bring both you and him goodness, glory, and happiness.

Imam as-Sajjad (a.s.) said, ‘and as for the right of child, you should know that he is from you and he belongs to you in this life with his good or evil, and you are responsible for whatever you entrust him with (whatever you teach him or make him to be).’

Third, consider yourself in his position; if you were to ask one who was more aware than you but he chided you and insulted you, what would you feel inside yourself? How would your situation and love be towards him?

Fourth, you should know that children have a great ability to learn, and when they learn useful things, they will lead good futures. Imam Ali (a.s.) said, ‘He who does not learn in childhood will not progress when an adult.’

Dear brother, this blessing requires you to thank Allah by caring greatly for your son and being patient with him, because you are the closest one to him.

This is your golden opportunity to plant in your son moral concepts and the meanings of piety, wisdom, honor, and freedom, and then he shall enter into life from the correct and wide-open gate; otherwise, he shall enter into life from other gates unknown to you. In the first case, you will be delighted with his good education, and whenever you find him successful, you will be even more delighted. But, in the second case, you will be ashamed of him in society.

Fifth, when you respond to your son’s questions patiently, you assume a role like the role of the prophets and apostles in teaching man. Are you aware of this high position?!

Sixth, when your son asks an unexpected question and you do not know The answer at that moment, you can apologize to him leniently and tell him in a language he understands that you do not know The answer but you will bring him The answer later on.

Seventh, in your circumstances with your son, you should remember that the best fruits are those that absorb the most amount of the sun’s light. Ask yourself, are you the sun for your son?

FOR A BETTER FUTURE

My husband makes many promises to our children that he does not fulfill; how can I deal with this problem?

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promiseQuestion: My husband often promises my children to buy them some presents, take them to the park, or something of that nature, but then he does not carry out his promises either because he is busy or because of an indifference I have noticed in him since we were married. I have been patient with him, but regarding the children, they are learning from him the bad habit of breaking promises. Would you please tell me how to deal with this problem?

The answer: The moral negativities in persons’ conducts cause many problems and pave the way for other negativities to come. However, Islam has treated these negativities with its great teachings concerning education, self-purification, and good deeds, but people, for the sake of their caprices and material pleasures, often harm themselves.

From among these teachings is the saying of Allah in this Qur’anic verse, (…and fulfill the promise; surely (every) promise shall be questioned about),

and the saying of Imam al-Kadhim (a.s.), ‘If you promise children (of something), carry out your promise because they see that you are the givers of their livelihood. Allah does not become angry for anything like He does for women and children.’

Muslim jurisprudents say that carrying out promises is obligatory and breaking them is unlawful. Rather, the traditions have considered breaking promises as one of the signs of hypocrites.

We also find a strong warning in this tradition reported from Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.): ‘The promise of a believer to his brother (believer) is a vow having no expiation. He who breaks his promise begins opposing Allah and becomes liable to His wrath, for Allah has said, (O you who believe! why do you say that which you do not do. It is most hateful to Allah that you should say that which you do not do)

Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) has also said, ‘Do not promise your brother of anything that you cannot carry out!’

I hope that your husband and those like him will ponder over these moral teachings in order to become happy by them and make you all happy with him.

FOR A BETTER FUTURE

How can I come to accept the changing relationship with my daughter as she has become an adult?

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Question: My daughter is nineteen years old. My problem with her is that I cannot tolerate her arguing with me, though I know that she is right most of the time, but I still contend with her proudly. I remember her childhood and my efforts for her until she reached this age. I do not know how to persuade myself that she has become an adult. Now, she is not a child that I can impose my opinion on her.

The answer: This feature is a result of some or all of the following reasons:

1. Each one belittling the other

2. Not comprehending the development of man and life

3. Being proud and haughty

4. Being impatient and intolerant because of the difficulties that affect one’s nerves

5. Not knowing the subjects of discussions and disputes

6. Having an inferiority complex that leads to stubbornness and confrontation

7. The difference of intellects and cultures between the two generations

As for the solution, you should realize that your daughter has an independent personality in her understanding and existence, and this should make you proud and delighted. In order to realize that man is a developing creature, you yourself have to develop by reading continuously and by learning new ideas and news to enlighten yourself with that knowledge that concerns your life and your role as a mother who is still responsible in life.

Besides this, you have to have good manners as much as you possibly can in order to be the example that your daughter will imitate. You should know that your daughter is a part of you; what makes you happy makes her happy, and what makes her sad makes you sad. You should look at her through yourself, for you are the mother who gives all favors to her daughter, and she is the daughter who will be a mother some day and will then, practically, understand your favors and appreciate your efforts. Consequently, she must respect you and be dutiful to you if she wants her daughter, in the future, to respect her and be dutiful to her.

The problem between you and your daughter is the opposition between your ego and her ego. As long as you are still within the circle of your ego, you should not expect her to love you from the depths of her ego because selfish people often clash with each other while altruists harmonize with each other. So you have to be altruistic and give up selfishness.

When you change, your daughter will change her behaviors towards you. But if she does not change, you have to continue your new manner of dealing with her, expecting Allah the Almighty to reward you and, as a part of this reward, Allah may rouse your daughter’s conscience and she may then change for the better inshallah.

Here, I would like to give the following advices to your daughter:

1. You have to be humble; the sun with all its greatness becomes humble and sends its light and warmth to the little earth and makes it fresh and lively. We, also, are required to be humble and to descend from our pride to the warmth of life. Beware of pride, because the first eclipse of one’s soul is when he sees himself only.

2. You should regard the dignity and position of your mother in your heart, because your daughter may do to you tomorrow what you are doing to your mother today!

3. You should try to make your mother understand your opinions in a way that is full of love and respect.

FOR A BETTER FUTURE