May, 2016 - BYISLAM

12 Points to Save Marriage in its Early Years (3)

May 8, 2016/in Consultation, Lifestyle /by amin edrisi

Marriage as a Restriction

Muslim men who have grown up in present culture may find marriage restricting. After all, before, they could hang out with their buddies and come home around 11:00 p.m. and no one would say a word. After marriage though, they have to be home by 7:00 p.m. if not earlier!

While marriage comes with responsibilities and a tighter schedule, the benefits are also there. It takes time and patience to realize that in the end the benefits (i.e. a life partner, children, etc.) are greater than the restrictions.

Friends and Islamic Activities

Friends are a joy and a good friend is someone you want to be close to for the rest of your life. But friends are often the source of many marriage conflicts. Too much time spent with friends – either hanging out with them or being on the phone – means time lost with one’s spouse.

Also, friends, especially if they are of the same age group, may give the wrong advice on marriage, due to their own inexperience in the area.

Some possible solutions to the friend dilemma could be:

Working out a “friends time” at least once a week where the husband and the wife meet and/or talk with friends privately.
Developing friendships with other married couples so spouses can befriend spouses (but keeping in mind the separation of the sexes).
Islamic activities fall in a similar category. Young Muslim activists may think they can keep attending those three-hour Islamic discussions as they did before marriage.

Not so.

Too much focus on outside Islamic activities takes one away from spouse time. Give Islamic activities their due, but within a balance of everyone’s rights, including those of your spouse.

In Relation to Secrets

A number of young married couples are notorious for not keeping secrets, especially those related to sexual matters, and thus expose their spouse’s faults. This is not only unacceptable – but it is un-Islamic as well.

Couples should seek to hide each other’s faults. They should seek advice on marriage problems from a “marriage mentor”, someone who is older, wiser, trustworthy and has the best interests of both parties at heart. The Holy Quran tells us that:

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ

“They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing for them.”
(Surah 2, Verse 187)

The functions of clothing are numerous, however one of them is to cover any defects or faults a person may have on his or her body and thus, the husband and wife must act, just as the Quran commands us, as “clothing” for one another, meaning a cover.

Finances

How much should be spent on furniture, the house, food, etc.? These are staple issues of any household and can lead to a tug-of-war between husband and wife.

To keep spending in check, husbands and wives need to draft a budget and stick to it. The household will run more efficiently and that’s one less source of conflict in a marriage.

A special note to husbands: in the beginning of marriage, husbands tend to shower their wives with gifts. They do this as an expression of love and because they want to provide for their wives. However, as time passes and they keep giving, they go into debt or experience financial difficulty. As well, wives get used to a certain level of comfort which husbands can no longer afford.

Providing for a wife (and later on, a family) is not just reserved to material things. It includes spending time with them, and treating them with equity and kindness. In fact, most wives would prefer this kind of provision over expensive gifts.

Giving Each Other Space

A number of couples think being married means always being together and serving each other on hand and foot.

Wives may initially take over all the household chores, not letting the husband help or even do his own things (i.e. ironing his own clothes). They later regret this as household responsibilities increase and their husbands become dependent on them for the smallest things.

Husbands may think getting married means being with their wives all the time. This later may lead them to becoming irritable and cranky.

The key is to focus on being caring, fond of and accepting each other and giving each other sufficient space, yet at the same time, being there for one another. Doing this provides a necessary balance in a relationship which is so close both physically and emotionally.

Source: The Religion of Al-Islam and Marriage compiled by Arifa Hudda

12 Points to Save Marriage in its Early Years (2)

May 8, 2016/in Consultation, Lifestyle /by amin edrisi

Sexual Problems

It is unrealistic to expect the issue of sex and sex-related problems to mysteriously disappear once a couple gets married.

In the sex-saturated present culture, couples tend to place very high expectations of each other in this area. They also expect instant results.

In reality, it takes time, commitment, disappointment and investment to establish a sexual relationship in marriage which is in tune with the needs of each partner.

It’s important for Muslim couples to walk into marriage with proper information about sex and sexual etiquette from an Islamic perspective (the book Marriage and Morals in Islam, by Hujjatul Islam as-Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi is one such valuable resource). They both need to know what is halal (permissible) and what is haram (forbidden). They should also keep in mind that spouses must never discuss their sexual relationship with others, unless it is to get help for a specific problem and that too one must get it from the right person.

On a similar note, it is important for both the husband and the wife to remember that they need to make themselves physically attractive for each other. Too many couples take marriage to mean an excuse to now let themselves go. The couple or one of the partners may gain too much weight, or may not care about hygiene or their looks in general.

The universal teachings of Islam also instructs the husband and wife to maintain cleanliness and beauty for the spouse. The Prophet of Islam (S) has commanded us that:

إِنّ اللهَ جَمِيلٌ يُحِبُّ الْجَمالِ وَيُحِبُّ أَنْ يُرى أَثَرَ النِّعْمَةِ عَلى عَبْدِهِ.

“Certainly Allah (SwT) is Beauty and He (only) loves beauty and He loves to see the effects of (His) blessings and bounties on His servants.” (Al-Kafi, Volume 6, Page 438)

The Prophet (S) has also told us that:

إِغْسِلُوا ثِيابَكُمْ وَخُذُوا مِنْ شُعُورِكُمْ وَاسْتاكُوْا وَتَزَيَّنٍوا وَتَنَظَّفُوا فَإِنّ بَنِي إِسْرائِيلَ لَمْ يَكُونُوا يَفْعَلُونَ ذلِكَ فَزَنَتْ نِسائُهُمْ.

“Wash your clothes and trim the excess hair on your bodies and brush your teeth and beautify yourselves and keep yourselves clean, since certainly the Children of Israil never did these things and thus, their women committed adultery.” (Nahj al-Fusahah, Page 72)

We quote one final hadith on the importance of keeping clean and looking nice for one’s spouse where the Prophet (S) has been described as:

كَانَ رَسُولُ اللهِ يُنْفِقُ فِي الطِّيبِ أَكْثَرَ مِمّا يُنْفِقُ فِي الطّعامِ

“The Messenger of Allah (S) used to spend more money on perfumes, than he used to spend on food.” (Wasail ash-Shia, Volume 1, Page 443)

Thus, both the husband and wife must take the time out of their schedules to maintain proper hygiene, to look nice for one another and other such things related to their physical appearance. Our beloved Prophet (S) has recommended husband and wife both to do these things.

In-Laws

The first few years of marriage are not just a period of adjustment for the married couple, rather, it is one of getting used to in-laws as well.

Husbands, wives and in-laws need to practice the Islamic rules of social relations with each other. These include avoiding: sarcasm, backbiting, calling each other by offensive nicknames, and instead, making a special effort to respect each other as a family.

More importantly too, comparisons need to be avoided, since every individual and every couple is different. Therefore, wives should not be compared to mothers and sisters and similarly, husbands should not be compared to fathers and brothers. In-laws should not be compared to parents, and so on.

In addition, there should be regular, healthy contact between spouses and in-laws. This can mean visiting each other at least once or twice a month, or phoning regularly if distance makes it difficult to get together.

We should remember that many times in the Quran, we have been ordered to maintain our family ties and relationships and one of the greatest sins in Islam is to sever ties with family members. However at the same time, the husband and wife must maintain a balance between the time they spend with parents/in-laws and with themselves:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

“Surely Allah (SwT) commands (people) to maintain justice, kindness, and proper relations with their relatives. He forbids them to commit indecency, sin, and rebellion and (Allah) gives you advice so that perhaps you will take heed.”
(Surah 16, Verse 90)

In another verse of the Quran, Allah (SwT) instructs us as such:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا

“O’ Mankind! Have fear of your Lord who has created you from a single soul. From it He created your spouse and through them He populated the land with many men and women. Have fear of the One by whose Name you swear to settle your differences and have respect for the wombs that bore you. Allah (SwT) certainly keeps watch over you.”(Surah 4, Verse 1)

Realism

Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They live happily ever after. This is the plot of many Hollywood movies, where everyone is “perfect”. Real life is very different.

Couples may enter marriage with high-flying romantic ideas and expecting their partner to be the ideal human, however all humans have good and bad points. Husbands and wives have to learn to accept each other, warts and all and since we ourselves are not perfect, how can we expect that form someone else?

Making a Schedule and Establishing Rituals

Making a schedule may seem like an end to spontaneity but that is not true. It allows you to establish your own lifestyle and rituals as a couple. It is especially important if both the husband and wife are going to school and/or working. In this scenario, a schedule helps in setting time aside for each other, during a fast-paced week of work and studies.

Some rituals couples can establish may include:

Praying at least one prayer together.
Performing the recommended supplications such as Dua-e-Kumayl, Dua-e-Tawassul, Dua-e-Nudbah, etc… together.
Attending a study circle together once a week.
Deciding on a weekly menu.
Having a pancake breakfast every Saturday morning.
Setting aside one day on which no work or studying will be done.
Setting a day when both the husband and wife will clean up the house.
Setting a time to discuss finances and a budget.
Making a phone call to your spouse during the day.
Deciding on a particular day and time once a month at least to visit each other’s parents.

By discussing and setting up these rituals, couples learn how to talk to and feel responsible for each other. They also learn to become a team instead of two people living in the same house with separate lives.

Source: The Religion of Al-Islam and Marriage compiled by Arifa Hudda

12 Points to Save Marriage in its Early Years (1)

May 8, 2016/in Consultation, Lifestyle /by amin edrisi

The first five to seven years are the most challenging of any marriage. They are the time that the couple spends getting to know one another better and adjusting to each other’s habits and personalities. Below, are some of the main problems couples face in the early years, and some possible solutions.

Lack of Proper Information before Marriage

A number of problems are caused simply by the fact that the couple and their families go not discuss crucial issues beforehand. Some of these include:

Whether or not the wife will work outside the home?
Will the couple wait to have children?
Which city and country will the couple live in after marriage?
Will they live with his parents or have their own house or apartment?

These and other relevant issues need to be discussed and decided in the beginning stages of the marriage process.

Who’s In Charge?

One of the biggest problems is the tug-of-war between couples over who is in control in the relationship. This has led to a stalemate in disagreements, as well as bitter feelings. Many couples today are refusing to compromise within moderation when differences arise. While from an Islamic perspective, the husband is given the leadership role in the marriage relationship, this does not mean that he can run the family life like a dictator. Allah (SwT) instructs in the Quran that:

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ ۚ

“Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made  some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded…”(Surah 4, Verse 34)

It must be remembered that Islamicly, a leader is one who serves, manages, provides and nourishes. A leader must also have humbleness and humility and deal with all of those under his care and protection with justice and equality.

A husband exercises the right kind of leadership by listening to and consulting with his wife.
Also, a husband is bound to follow the rules of the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet (S) and the Ahlul Bait (as). So differences in opinion should be referred back to these sources (and of course the Religious Scholars in our local community), instead of becoming a source of tension and problems.

Not only is it the duty of the head of the house to make sure that the material needs of the family and order are kept, but it is also his duty to protect himself and his family from the fire of hell:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

“O’ you who have true faith! Save yourselves and your families from the fire which is fueled by people and stones and is guarded by stern angels who do not disobey Allah’s (SwT) commands and do whatever they are ordered to do.” (Surah 66, Verse 6)

Therefore, the head of the house must make sure that he has the proper Islamic knowledge to keep himself away from the hell and more importantly, guide his wife and children to the straight path and keep them on this road. In this regards, the husband has four important duties:

To invite his wife and children and any others under his care to obey Allah (SwT). The husband should call his family to follow the religion and encourage them in this regard.
Teach those under his care their religious duties and obligations. Of course this means that the husband must first and foremost know his own religion and beliefs. If he is not well acquainted with his religion, then he must employ the services of the local Masjid and the scholars and either invite them to his house or go to the Masjid for Islamic classes.
Encourage the family members to perform good deeds (Amr bil Maruf), as not only is this one of the obligatory acts in our religion, but it will also help the family both in the short term and long term. If they know their responsibilities and are continuously guided to them, then peace, harmony and tranquility will rule throughout the house.
The father must also make sure and remind other members of his family to stay away from evil and sin (Nahi Anil Munkar). Again, this is a part of our beliefs and without doubt, that home in which people are not plagued with committing sins and evil acts is one in which Allah (SwT) looks favorably upon and blesses the inhabitants of it.
The Divorce Option

Once upon a time, “divorce” was the seven-letter word most Muslim couples avoided using. Today, amongst many Muslim couples, it is one of the first recourses turned to when conflicts occur in a marriage.

It should be remembered that out of all of the things that Allah (SwT) has made halal (permissible), divorce is the one He hates the most. Couples need to look at several other alternatives before turning to this drastic measure. The Prophet of Islam (S) has told us that:

ما خَلَقَ اللهُ شَيْئاً عَلى وَجْهِ الأَرْضِ أَحَبَّ مِنَ الْعَتاقِ وَلا خَلَقَ شَيْئاً عَلى وَجْهِ الأَرْضِ أَبْغَضَ مِنَ الطَّلاقِ.

“Allah (SwT) has not created on the face of this Earth anything more beloved by Him than freeing a slave, and He has not created anything on the face of this Earth more despised than divorce.”

The couple should seek the help of older, wiser and trustworthy elders and Scholars who will try to help them resolve their differences. Allah (SwT) tells us in the Quran that:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهَا إِنْ يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا

“If there appears to be discord between a wife and her husband and if they desire reconciliation, then choose arbiters from the families of both sides. Allah (SwT) will bring them together; Allah (SwT) is All-Knowing and All-Aware.” (Surah 4, Verse 35)

Generally, the couple needs to make a sincere and concerted effort to try and work things out before divorce is even considered.

Source: The Religion of Al-Islam and Marriage compiled by Arifa Hudda

Characteristics of Prophet Muhammad

May 7, 2016/in Beliefs, Prophecy /by amin edrisi

There are a number of ways to understand the best qualities of human beings in Islam. One way is to study how God has described the Prophets in the Qur’an, since they are the people who are chosen by God as His messengers and are the best ones to be chosen by human beings as their guide and role models.

Submissive to God

So if they argue with you, say, ‘I have submitted my will to God, and [so has] he who follow me.’ And say to those who were given the Book and the uninstructed ones, ‘Do you submit?’ If they submit, they will certainly be guided, but if they turn away, then your duty is only to communicate; and God sees best the servants. (3:20)

He has no partner, and this [creed] I have been commanded [to follow],and I am the first of those who submit [to God].’ (6:163)

Gentle to the people

It is by God’s mercy that you are gentle to them; and had you been harsh and hardhearted, surely they would have scattered from around you. So excuse them, and plead for forgiveness for them, and consult them in the affairs, and once you are resolved, put your trust in God. Indeed God loves those who trust in Him. (3:159)

Deep concern for the people

There has certainly come to you an apostle from among yourselves. Grievous to him is your distress; he has deep concern for you, and is most kind and merciful to the faithful. (9:128)

Most kind and merciful to the faithful

There has certainly come to you an apostle from among yourselves. Grievous to him is your distress; he has deep concern for you, and is most kind and merciful to the faithful. (9:128)

Who has faith in God and His words

Say, ‘O mankind! I am the Apostle of God to you all, [of Him] to whom belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. There is no god except Him. He gives life and brings death.’ So have faith in God and His Apostle, the uninstructed prophet who has faith in God and His words, and follow him so that you may be guided. (7:158)

Be’that of the Holy prophet (S); The most important event in all History

May 7, 2016/in Beliefs, Prophecy /by amin edrisi

The issue of Be’that and the occurrence of this divine event is the most important thing that has ever happened to humanity. In the history of mankind, no other event has been more significant than Be’that and no divine blessing has been greater than this blessing. We have the honor of having accepted Be’that with all our heart and soul. We have developed faith in it and we have become familiar with this path to happiness.

This is a great divine blessing and every Muslim has a responsibility to achieve the paradise of divine and spiritual happiness through building faith, doing good deeds and moving towards the goals of the Holy Prophet of Islam’s (S) Be’that. Of course, we cannot comment on the meaning and essence of Be’that. The true essence of Be’that is beyond our limited intellectual capabilities.

Two important points about Be’that

Regarding the issue of Be’that, there are two things which are important for Muslims of the world. First, Be’that of the Holy Prophet (S) is like a flowing spring and it is a divine blessing that has been bestowed on all humanity. As Allah the Exalted has repeatedly promised in the Holy Quran, the purpose of Be’that is to imbue the life of human beings with the essence of Be’that. And this will happen.

“That He may make it prevail over all the religions.” 1

Be’that: a definite truth for humanity

The issue of Be’that is a definite truth in the world. The purpose of the kind of justice that is supposed to be administered in the world as a result of the Holy Prophet’s (S) Be’that was not to make a particular group of people develop faith in it at a particular stage without the majority of human beings developing faith in it throughout history, rather the issue of Be’that was put forth in order to build a new world and new human beings and to help all human beings achieve perfection.
And this will happen because if it does not, the original goal of Be’that will not be achieved.

Of course, the movement towards this goal is one that has its own conditions and requirements and we are moving towards this truth. Every step that human beings take whether they want it or not, whether they know it or not will bring them closer to the essence of Be’that.

Today the slogans that are proposed in the world are in line with the issue of Be’that although these slogans are usually not accompanied by action. Example of such slogans include slogans of social justice, intellectual liberation, freedom, knowledge, progress, improvement of living conditions and other slogans that are promoted by different governments, peoples, intellectuals and schools of thought. The existence of these slogans in the world is due to the introduction of divine prophets and the last Be’that. Of course, these slogans exist in a flawed form among the people as well, and some people are moving towards them.

Today we as well as the entire humanity are moving towards developing faith in the concepts and values that are associated with Be’that of the Holy Prophet (S). In the Islamic Republic, we have the honor of being among the nations that have implemented slogans of piety and acting according to Quranic principles and we are moving towards perfection in this regard. We have the honor of having identified this truth. We have the honor of having witnessed this truth. We have the honor of loving this truth. We have the honor of moving towards this truth and we have made great progress on this path. The entire world and humanity should and will follow the same path.

The second point concerns the Holy Prophet (S) himself. The memory of the Holy Prophet (S) and the love and respect that Muslims have for him are the main factors that unite Muslims in different eras. There are no other factors in Islam that all Muslims from different countries and denominations agree upon from rational, emotional, spiritual and ethical aspects. The Holy Prophet (S) is the pivot of Muslim unity.

The Holy Quran, Ka’bah and Islamic obligations and beliefs are all shared by Muslims and each of them is related to one aspect of human personality such as faith, affection, spiritual tendencies and issues relating to Taqlid and practical ethics. However, the majority of these things are interpreted in different ways among Muslims. What all Muslims agree upon intellectually, ideologically and emotionally is the Holy Prophet (S). It is necessary to appreciate this. It is necessary to increase this love for the Holy Prophet (S) and to strengthen this spiritual tendency towards him in the hearts and minds of all Muslims.

Regarding the machinations and cultural invasions that have been designed against Islam, one of the targets that the enemies have focused on is the Holy Prophet (S). He was attacked in that satanic book, which revealed the emotional and ideological target of the enemy’s machinations. 2

Muslims’ faith in the Holy Prophet is accompanied by affection

The memory of the Holy Prophet (S) is one of the most attractive things for all Muslims throughout the world because the issue is one that involves both affection and faith. Thus, compared with other aspects of Islam which are ideological in nature and do not involve emotions, the memory of the Holy Prophet (S) plays a more important role in Muslim affairs. For this reason, certain great intellectuals of the world of Islam have rightly pointed out that the Holy

Prophet (S) and his memory and Muslims’ faith in him can be the pivot of Muslim unity. Fortunately, this year’s commemoration ceremonies have coincided with the official inauguration of “The International Forum for Proximity of Islamic Denominations”. Our brothers made efforts and started this work and by Allah’s favor, the forum will promote the noble goals of Islam.

Source: Lessons from the Holy Prophet of Islam (S) stated by Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei

Morals and Manners of the Prophet in Quran

May 7, 2016/in Beliefs, Prophecy /by amin edrisi

The Holy Prophet (S) always entreated to Almighty Allah with humility and sincerity to bestow him with good manners. In his supplications, His Eminence said: My Lord, improve my manners and morals. He also prayed: O Lord, Keep me free of bad morals and manners.

God answered his prayers and revealed the Quran on him and disciplined him through Quran and the Quran became his nature. Saad ibn Hisham says: I asked Ayesha about the morals and manners of the Holy Prophet (S). She said: Have you not read the Quran? I asked: Why? She said: The morals of the Prophet are same as Quran.

Morals of the Prophet are taken directly from revelation and Quran. By way of examples see the following:

خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَهِلِينَ

“Take to forgiveness and enjoin good and turn aside from the ignorant.” (7:199)

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَنِ

“Surely Allah enjoins the doing of justice and the doing of good (to others)…” (16:90)

وَاصْبِرْ وَمَا صَبْرُكَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ

“And be patient and your patience is not but by (the assistance of) Allah.” (16:127)

وَ اصْبِرْ عَلَى‏ مَآ أَصَابَكَ إِنَّ ذَ لِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ

“…and bear patiently that which befalls you; surely these acts require courage.” (31:17)

وَلَمَن صَبَرَ وَغَفَرَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ

“And whoever is patient and forgiving, these most surely are actions due to courage.” (42:43)

فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاصْفَحْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ‏

“…so pardon them and turn away; surely Allah loves those who do good (to others).” (5:13)

وَلْيَعْفُواْ وَلْيَصْفَحُواْ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ

“…and they should pardon and turn away. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you?” (24:22)

ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِى بَيْنَكَ وَ بَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِىٌّ حَمِيمٌ‏

“Repel (evil) with what is best, when lo! he between whom and you was enmity would be as if he were a warm friend.” (41:34)

وَالْكَظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَ الْعَافِينَ عَنِ الْنَّاسِ

“…and those who restrain (their) anger and pardon men.” (3:134)

اجْتَنِبُواْ كَثِيراً مِّنَ الظَّنِ‏ّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِ‏ّ إِثْمٌ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُواْ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضاً

“…avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin, and do not spy nor let some of you backbite others.” (49:12)

In the above verses and hundreds of other verses Almighty Allah has mentioned good morals and manners and advised the Prophet and his followers to follow them and He has also listed the bad habits and morals and asked them to keep away from them. The Holy Prophet (S) himself observed good manners and morals and kept away from bad manners and morals, in such a way that he can be called as the personification of the morals and manners of Quran as Ayesha had described him with this title. That is why Almighty Allah said with regard to him:

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَى‏ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ‏

“And most surely you conform (yourself) to sublime morality.” (68:4)

The Holy Prophet (S) himself acted on good manners and by his word and speech, continuously advised the Muslims to observe good manners and morals and said: I have been sent to perfect morals. Therefore hundreds of traditions have been recorded from the Prophet of Islam with regard to ethical problems and recorded in books of traditions.

Good morals and preferable manners can be considered as most important factors of his popularity and influence among the Muslims. Since they did what he told them to do and agreed to what he said. The same point is mentioned in Quran:

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِنَ اللَّهِ لِنْتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظّاً غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانْفَضُّواْ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ

“Thus it is due to mercy from Allah that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you…” (3:159)

Some Qualities of the Prophet

Faiz Kashani has narrated from Abul Bakhtari that he said with regard to the Prophet: The Prophet never spoke ill of the believers and if by chance he uttered something harsh, he made amends for it immediately by doing a good turn to them. He never cursed his women or servants. During battles, His Eminence was urged to curse the enemies, but he said: I have been sent for mercy and guidance and not to curse. Whenever he was suggested to curse Muslims or infidels, especially or generally he used to rather pray for them.

He never beat anyone; except that it should be for the sake of God. He never sought revenge to any offence, except if it had been an affront to God. He never had two options to choose from, but that he chose the easiest of them. Except that it should be a cause of sin or breaking off of relations as he kept away from it more than anyone else. No free man or slave ever came to him with a request, but that he hastened to help him or her immediately.

Anas says: By God, the Messenger of Allah (S) never ordered me to do something which I did not like. And he never said: Why didn’t you do it? And if his family members scolded me for that job, he said: Leave him, because there is a job he has accomplished. The Messenger of Allah (S) never spoke in a harsh manner, if the bed was made for him, he slept on it and if not, he slept on bare floor.

His manners were such that he greeted all those he met. He never interrupted others while they spoke and waited patiently for others to finish speaking.

When he shook hands he never retrieved his hand before the other person. When he met any of the companions, he shook hands with them. He took their hand in his hands and interlaced his fingers with theirs and held them firm. He never arose or sat down without mentioning God. If a person came to meet him when he was praying, he shortened his prayer and asked: Do you want something from me?

After fulfilling his need, he again continued his prayer. He never occupied a special place in assemblies and he took any seat that was vacant. He never stretched his legs in front of others, lest there should be less space for others; except when ample space was available. He mostly sat facing the Qibla. He greeted all those who came to meet him and he even spread out his cloak for the visitor to sit on even though he was not related to him. Whoever came to meet him was urged to sit in the seat of the Prophet.

He was respectful to one and all in such a way that each of them was convinced that he or she was the most respected person in view of the Prophet. He paid equal attention to all those who were present in the assembly. His gathering was in a halo of modesty, humility and trust. Allah has said with regard to him:

“Thus it is due to mercy from Allah that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you.”

He addressed his companions with their agnomen (Kunniyat) in order to accord them respect and please them. He selected an agnomen for whosoever who did not have it already. He even selected agnomens for ladies who had children and those who did not have any children. He gave agnomen even to children in order to please them. He was angered by people only after a long time and used to become happy very soon. He was most beneficial for the people. He never raised his voice in his assemblies. When he arose from a gathering, he said: “Glory be to You, O Allah, and praise be to You. I witness that there is no god except You. I seek Your forgiveness and turn to You in repentance.” He then said: Jibraeel has taught me as such.31

Forgiveness Despite Having The Power Of Revenge

The Holy Prophet (S) was the most forbearing person. He was most inclined than others to forgive despite having the power to retaliate. One day he distributed gold and silver necklaces among his companions, which were a part of public treasury. A Bedouin stood up and objected: Has God not ordered you to observe justice? I do not consider you just in this distribution. He said: Who else other than me would deal with you in such a just manner?

When that man wanted to go away, the Prophet said: Call him back. Jabir has narrated that the Holy Prophet (S), after the Battle of Hunain distributed silver coins among the people, which were obtained as war booty. A man said: O Messenger of Allah (S), distribute equitably. The Holy Prophet (S) said: If I am not just, who else would be? If it is so, I would be causing harm. At this moment Umar stood up and said: O Messenger of Allah (S), he is a hypocrite; allow me to strike off his head. The Holy Prophet (S) disallowed him and said: I seek the refuge of Allah from committing such a deed as people would say: Muhammad kills his own companions.

During one of the battles, when the Messenger of Allah (S) was in a safe place away from the battle, an opponent came and stood at his head with a naked sword and said: Who can save you from me? The Holy Prophet (S) just said: God. At that moment the sword fell from his hand. The Prophet picked it up immediately and said: Now who can save you from me? He replied: Although the sword is in your hand, you are the best wielder of the sword.

He said: Say: I testify that there is no god, except Allah. He said: I will not fight you and I am going out of the battlefield. The Holy Prophet (S) left him alone. That man went back to his people and said: I am coming from the best of men.

Anas says: A Jew woman decided to poison the Holy Prophet (S) through poisoned roasted meat and she came to His Eminence with this intent. The Holy Prophet (S) asked about her intention. She said: I want to eliminate you. He said: God forbid that such thing should really happen. Companions asked: Did you not eliminate her? He replied: No.

His Eminence, Ali (a.s.) said: The Messenger of Allah (S) told me, Zubair and Miqdad to reach Raudha Khak as soon as possible. There we would see a litter with a woman carrying a letter. We should take the letter from her and bring it to the Prophet. We set out immediately and reached the stated place soon. We decried the litter on which that woman was seated. We brought her down and said: Give us the letter that you are carrying. She said: I have nothing with me. We said: You are definitely carrying a letter; give it to us or we would kill or strip you and take it from you. She was compelled to take out the letter she had concealed in her hair and hand it over to us. We brought the letter to the Holy Prophet (S).

He opened it and it was written therein: This is the letter of Hatib ibn Abi Balta to some polytheists of Mecca. The letter divulged to the polytheists an administrative secret of Muslims. The Messenger of Allah (S) got Hatib arrested and asked: Why have you written this letter? He replied: O Messenger of Allah (S), emigrants who have migrated from Mecca to Medina, have relatives in Mecca who can defend their family members there. But I don’t have any supporters in Mecca. Through this letter, I intended to do a good turn to the Meccans so they might have a soft corner for my family in Mecca. What I did was not due to infidelity or apostasy. The Holy Prophet (S) accepted his excuse and said: You are right. Umar ibn Khattab, who was present there, said: Allow me to execute this hypocrite. The Holy Prophet (S) said: This man had participated in Battle of Badr; it is possible that he may gain divine forgiveness.

The Holy Prophet (S) said:

Do not narrate any defects of my companions to me, because I would like to meet you with a pure heart.32

Moderation and Pardon

A Bedouin came to the Holy Prophet (S) and asked for something. The Holy Prophet (S) gave something and asked: Have I done a favor to you? He replied: No, you have not. Muslims became furious at the audacity of that man and wanted to punish him. The Holy Prophet (S) signaled that no one should do anything to him. After that he arose and entered his chamber and sent someone to bring that man.

Then he gave another quantity to him and then asked: Have I done a favor to you, are you happy? He replied: Yes, O Messenger of Allah (S), you have done a favor to me; may God give you a good reward for it. The Holy Prophet (S) said: You uttered those words and angered the companions; I feel that it would be appropriate if you should repeat these words to them so that they may not harbor malice to you. That man said: I will do that.

The next day that man came to the Masjid. The Holy Prophet (S) told the companions: Yesterday you heard those words from this gentleman; I invited him home and gave him some more till he was satisfied. The Bedouin also said: Yes, I am satisfied; may God give you a good reward.

The Messenger of Allah (S) said: The simile of myself and this man is the like the simile of a man whose camel has fled. People chase the camel to apprehend it, but as much they chase it, as much further it flees. The camel owner tells the people: Leave my camel alone. I know better how to control it. At that moment he takes up a bunch of grass and waves it at the camel and in this way calms down the beast gradually. The camel slowly kneels down before him. Then he puts the litter on its back and mounts it. I also dealt with that Bedouin in the same manner. If you had killed him on hearing those words, you would have entered Hell.33

Generosity and Forgiveness

When Imam Ali (a.s.) described the fine qualities of the Holy Prophet (S); he said as follows: He was the most forgiving and generous of all. He was most cheerful, truthful, loyal, soft-natured and magnanimous. His awe left its mark on the people. Anyone who came across him started liking him. He had no equal before or after him. He did not spurn any beggar without giving him anything. A person asked something from His Eminence, and he was given a large number of sheep. That man returned to his folks and remarked: Accept the faith that Muhammad is propagating. He is generous in giving and he does not fear poverty.

He never said ‘no’ to anyone who asked him for something. One day seventy thousand dirhams were presented to him and he distributed all of it the same day. A beggar asked for something but since he had nothing, he told him: Presently you may buy whatever you need on credit, and as soon I get something, I would repay your debt. Umar said: O Messenger of Allah (S), God has not asked for anything on which you have no control. The Prophet was not pleased by this suggestion. The beggar said: O Messenger of Allah (S), be generous and do not fear poverty. The Holy Prophet (S) smiled at these words and the signs of joy became apparent on his face.

When Battle of Hunain was over, Bedouins of the surrounding area gathered around the Prophet and asked for a share in the booty. The Holy Prophet (S) was forced to take refuge in a tree and they even snatched his cloak. He said: Give back my cloak. If I had as many camels as these stones I would distribute them among you and you will not find me miserly, lying and timid.34

Imam Ja’far Sadiq (a.s.) said: A man came to the Holy Prophet (S) and gave twelve dirhams. Since his garments had become old, he gave the twelve dirhams to Ali Ibn Abi Talib (a.s.) and said: Buy a dress for me. Ali (a.s.) says: I went to the market and purchased a dress for twelve dirhams and returned to the Prophet. He looked at the dress and said: I don’t like it. Would the seller take it back? I said: I don’t know. Then I took the dress back and said: The Messenger of Allah (S) did not like this dress, can you cancel the transaction?

He replied: Yes. He took the dress and returned the twelve dirhams. I took the money and returned them to the Holy Prophet (S). Then I came to the market with him to buy another dress. On the way we saw a female slave weeping by the roadside. The Holy Prophet (S) asked what the matter was and she said: My master had given four dirhams to me and asked me to make some purchases. But somehow I lost the money. Now I cannot dare to go back home. The Messenger of Allah (S) gave her four dirhams and said: Go home.

After that we continued on our way to the market and bought a dress from His Eminence, for four dirhams. The Prophet put on the dress and said: Praise be to Allah. On way back home we saw a man having nothing to wear and he was saying: God will dress in garment of Paradise one who gives me something to wear. The Messenger of Allah (S) gave the dress he had purchased for himself.

We went to the market for the second time and bought a dress from the remaining four dirhams. He put it on and thanked the Almighty. We were returning home when we saw that same slave girl and she still sitting there. The Messenger of Allah (S) asked: Why have you not returned home? She replied: Since I was very late I feared beating. The Holy Prophet (S) said: Come I will accompany you home and recommend your case with your master. He came to the house of that slave girl and said: Peace be on you O people of the house. No one replied till he repeated it thrice.

The third time, the owner of the house responded: And peace be on you, O Messenger of Allah (S). The Prophet asked: Why did you not reply the first time? He replied: I heard your Salam but I wanted you to repeat it. The Messenger of Allah (S) said: Your slave girl has returned late; do not punish her for it. He said: I have emancipated this slave girl as a mark of respect for you. The Messenger of Allah (S) said: Praise be to Allah. I have not seen any twelve dirhams more blessed than these. Two persons got clothes and a slave girl was freed.35

Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.) said: A beggar approached the Messenger of Allah (S) and asked for something. Since the Holy Prophet (S) was not having anything to fulfill the needs of that beggar, he told the companions: Is there anyone who would lend me something? A person said: O Messenger of Allah (S), I will. He said: Give four loads of dates to this beggar; I will return them to you later on. The Ansari man handed over the dates to the beggar. After some days, he came to the Prophet and demanded him to return the dates that he had loaned.

The Messenger of Allah (S) said: I will do so if God wills. The Ansari man approached him a number of times asking for his dates and the Prophet every time assured: I will do so if God wills. After a period of time he again came to the Prophet and asked: Why do you not fulfill my demand? The Prophet said: I will do so if God wills. Ansari man said: Till when would you go on saying if God wills, if God wills? The Prophet smiled and told the companions: Is there anyone who can lend me a quantity of dates? A man agreed and the Prophet told him to give eight loads of dates to that man. That Ansari said: I am not asking for additional loads. He said: They also belong to you.

Modesty

In spite of having such a great position, the Messenger of Allah (S) was an extremely humble person. Ibn Aamir says: I saw the Messenger of Allah (S) during the stoning of Satans (Jamarat). He was astride a camel and was stoning without exercising any sort of formalities.

He rode a donkey without a saddle and at the same time had another person with him. He visited the sick and attended funerals; he accepted the invitation of slaves; mended his own shoes and patched his clothes. He cooperated with his family members in household chores. Companions did not stand up to pay respect to him as they knew that he did not like it. He greeted children.

Sometimes when a person trembled in his awe, he said: Take it easy, I am not a king. I am the son of a lady who ate dried meat. He sat among companions in such a way as if he was one of them. A poor man entered the assembly; but could not recognize the Prophet so that he may ask him about something. Hence companions fixed a special place for him.

Ayesha said to the Prophet: While eating, recline on something so that you are comfortable. The Messenger of Allah (S) brought his head near the ground and said: No, I eat and sit like slaves.

He accepted the invitation of all those who invited him for dinner. When he sat with companions, if they talked about matters related to the hereafter, he spoke with them but if they discussed food and drinks or worldly matters, he joined their discussion as a friendly gesture.36

Imam Ja’far Sadiq (a.s.) said: Once a foster sister of the Holy Prophet (S) came to him. He became very happy to see her, spread out his sheet for her and made her sit thereon and talked happily with her. When she left, her brother arrived. The Holy Prophet (S) did not display as much welcome for him. When companions asked he said: “She is more respectful to her father.”37

Source: Prophethood and the Prophet of Islam written by Ebrahim Amini

The Purpose of commemorating Mab’ath: Reviewing the great lessons of Be’that

May 7, 2016/in Beliefs, Prophecy /by amin edrisi

Commemorating Mab’ath is an effort to highlight the great lessons that the Holy Prophet’s (S) Be’that contains, lessons that are needed by all human beings, particularly by Muslim communities. It is not just an effort to commemorate an event that is held in high regard. Today humanity is suffering from the domination of Taghuti powers, from oppression, from discrimination, from corruption and from the domination of the passions of certain groups over the lives of people.

Today the lives of human beings are at the mercy of the passions of individuals who have not even heard of spirituality, individuals who are driven by their human passions. Today humanity needs the message of Be’that more than ever before.

Be’that of the Holy Prophet (S): Calling human beings to adopt monotheism as their lifestyle

Be’that of the Holy Prophet (S) was primarily a call to monotheism. Monotheism is not just a philosophical and theoretical view, rather it is a lifestyle. Monotheism is the establishment of the rule of God over one’s life as well as elimination of different factors that control one’s life. “There is no god but Allah” which is the main message of our Prophet (S) and all other divine prophets – means that Taghuti powers and satans should not interfere in the lives of human beings or in the choice of path and lifestyle and that they should not try to take control of the lives of human beings.

If monotheism in the Islamic sense and in the sense that was promoted by all divine prophets is implemented in the social life of Muslims as well as all human beings, it will be possible for human beings to achieve genuine happiness and salvation in this world and in the next. Human beings will be able to build their worldly life and put it at the service of their perfection and transcendence. From an Islamic point of view, this world is a prelude and a path to the next world. Islam does not reject material life.

It does not condemn worldly joys. It asks human beings to be active in the arena of worldly life with all their capacities. However, all of these things should be at the service of spiritual transcendence and happiness, so that worldly life becomes pleasant as well. In such a world, there is no oppression, no ignorance and no brutality. It is very difficult to build such a world and it requires selfless efforts. The Holy Prophet (S) started these selfless efforts from the first day.

Be’that: The call to all the virtues that are needed by humanity

What the Holy Prophet (S) promoted are the same things that humanity has needed in all historical eras. The Holy Prophet (S) called human beings to knowledge. Knowledge has been praised in the Ayahs that were revealed first.

“Read in the name of your Lord Who created. He created man from a clot. Read and your Lord is most honorable, Who taught (to write) with the pen.” 17

The first thing that was put forward was educating mankind. Knowledge is an instrument to help mankind achieve salvation. Knowledge is not particular to a specific era or place. It is related to all eras. The Holy Prophet (S) called on human beings to start a movement. In the first Ayahs that were revealed to the Holy Prophet (S), Allah the Exalted said,

“Arise and warn”. 18

This shows the importance of starting a movement, taking action and taking on responsibilities.

“Say: I exhort you only to one thing, that you rise up for Allah’s sake.” 19

Rising up for the sake of God is effective in all conditions and it is not possible to start a movement and reach any noble goals without rising up. The Holy Prophet (S) called human beings to spiritual purification and self-education.

“He it is Who raised among the inhabitants of Mecca an Messenger from among themselves, who recites to them His communications and purifies them, and teaches them the Book and the Wisdom.” 20

Spiritual purification is the first condition. In the absence of spiritual purification, knowledge will be used as an instrument to drag human beings into corruption, degeneration, deviation and decline, just as in today’s world, knowledge has become an instrument to drag human beings into decline and it is being used as a tool to shackle nations, distort realities and impose hunger on human beings.

Because of the hegemony of colonial powers that continued invading nations of the world and spreading their domination through the use of knowledge, there are many people around the world who have been deprived of their natural resources and they are living in poverty, privation and destitution.

The same is true of today’s world. Today global arrogance a new form of colonialism is making human beings powerless through the use of knowledge. They shackle people and give rise to death and destruction. These are the consequences of knowledge that is not accompanied by spiritual purification.

Source: Lessons from the Holy Prophet of Islam (S) stated by Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei

Characteristics of Prophet Muhammad

May 7, 2016/in Beliefs, Prophecy /by amin edrisi

Submissive to God

He has no partner, and this [creed] I have been commanded [to follow],and I am the first of those who submit [to God].’ (6:163)

Gentle to the people

Deep concern for the people

There has certainly come to you an apostle from among yourselves. Grievous to him is your distress; he has deep concern for you, and is most kind and merciful to the faithful. (9:128)

Most kind and merciful to the faithful

There has certainly come to you an apostle from among yourselves. Grievous to him is your distress; he has deep concern for you, and is most kind and merciful to the faithful. (9:128)

Who has faith in God and His words

How Are Men’s Bad Characteristics Women’s Good Characteristics?

May 7, 2016/in Lifestyle, Relations Between Couples /by amin edrisi

In Imam Ali’s (P) words, the best elements of a Muslim woman’s personality which are considered at the same time the worst for men, are as follows:

خيار خصال النساء شرار خصال الرجال، الزهو و الجبن و البخل، فاذا كانت المرأة مزهوةً لم تمكن من نفسها و اذا كانت بخيله حفظت مالها و مال بعلها و اذا كانت جبانة فرقت من كل شيئ يعرض لها.

(زهو) (Zahv means inviolability that is a woman must be inviolable in her social activities and her sense of pride should be dominant over her predisposition.)

If a woman were inviolable, she would never allow a stranger to have authority over herself and if woman were niggardly, she would take care of the economy of the family and if a woman were timid she would never be involved with things that would be a threat to her chastity. However, in the field of education and training it is said that a person should be extrovert, have social communications and seek for a brethren in religion and must never fear.

If these three elements of the personality of a woman, which have been mentioned according to Imam Ali’s (P) perspective, seem unusual, more explanation and interpretation are required. These elements, which endanger woman and put her in a predicament are of two states, the general and particular here, the particular state is mentioned. Such destructive characteristics in both woman and man are not desirable in the general state, since Islam endeavors to educate human beings who are free from arrogance, fear and pride.

So, Imam Ali (P) does not consider the elements of pride and inviolability in its general state however, inviolability has a different meaning from pride. Inviolability means that Islam has defined a structure for a woman’s personality. According to educational and training standards, a woman must be extrovert and be able to relate with others easily and if she could not relate with the opposite sex, she may have reservations with the opposite sex, while according to Islam, a woman must observe a boundary in her social responsibilities.

Regarding the characteristic of niggardly, its general state is considered as well. When the Holy Qur’an states:

…وَمَنْ يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ

“Those who are shielded from their own avarice will be prosperous.” (59:9)

His Holiness Ali (P) discarding such an incorrect concept through the analysis and interpretation of his words, states:

فاذا كانت المرأة مزهوة لم تمكن من نفسها

“If a woman continually observe a boundary and certain precautions in her own social relations, she will never be exploited and vulnerable.

لم تمكن نفساً ً

“She never allows herself to be misused.”

فاذا كانت بخيله

“If she has the characteristic of stinginess……”

حفظت مالها و مال بعلها

“.. she will safeguard her own property, that of her marital life and also that of her husband.”

فاذا كانت جبانة فرقت شيئ يعرض لها

“If a woman be concerned, in social interactions she will have fright and together with precaution and apprehension driving away many calamities and contention as well.”

Nevertheless, Imam Ali (P) considers the best characteristics of women as the worst attributes of man pointing out that from the Islamic point of view the role and position of woman is completely different from that of man in marital life. The nature and personality of woman had been created in a manner that is compatible with such characteristics and virtues.

The martyr, Motahari states: “The reason why the characteristics mentioned in this narration are not considered in general, in its absolute state and include particular instances, is that regarding stinginess, if its general state is mentioned, it will be incompatible with the certainties of the Holy Qur’an. The verse:

…وَمَنْ يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ

“Those who are shielded from their own avarice will be prosperous.” (59:9)

Considers the element of prosperity as the point opposite to stinginess. It is expected of a woman to be proud towards strangers and not towards the husband, other women and/or her relatives close to her. What is focused upon is the pride in order to safeguard chastity and perform social responsibilities.

According to the above-mentioned verse, obsession of this world is condemned and one who can rescue oneself from this obsession and free oneself from worship of worldly matters or wealth will reach the stage of prosperity. So, it is not the best characteristic for a woman not to spend out of her property. Her Eminence Zahra, (P) as an example did not have stinginess in its general state. Stinginess is for the purpose of:

المرأة راعية علي بيت اهلها

“The woman is the supervisor and the one responsible inside the house, in the family and in relation with her husband.”

As I have mentioned, Islam considers some characteristics favorable to woman, which are undesirable for man. Definitely, the general state of these characteristics because of its incompatibility with the certainties of the Holy Qur’an is not desired. The preference and encouragement of the characteristics of pride fear and stinginess is because of the vulnerability of woman. Stinginess and niggardliness is for the conjugal property according to Imam Ali (P) who states:

اذا كانت بخيلة حفظت مالها و مال بعلها

“Of course, both woman and man are responsible to safeguard conjugal property.”

The woman has an essence called chastity, which is vulnerable in social interactions therefore, she must possess a characteristic required to guard this vulnerability. Throughout history nowhere has it been mentioned that a woman violated a man, on the contrary, there have been so many cases regarding violations against woman.

Therefore, fear is for safeguarding the chastity of a woman and encouraging to have this characteristic is observing precaution. Accordingly, perseverance and sensitivity in defending chastity as the basis of personality and complement of woman’s dignity has been recommended to her.

The Martyr Motahhari states: “A woman’s fear in the position of enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong is condemned. The verse:

المومنون و المومنات بعضهم اولياء‌ بعض يامرون بالمعرو ف و ينهون عن المنكر

“Some men believers and women believers are superior over the other believers they command decency and forbid dishonor.”

Considers woman and man as partners and equal in enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong. To safeguard values it is said that one has to offer one’s wealth or life unless it may cost your chastity. So fear has meaning only in this point. Where it is stated “enjoin the good”, it says:

المومنون و المومنات. . .

“Men and women believers.”

or says:

الرجال قوامون علي النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم علي بعض

“Men are the ones who should support women since God has given some persons advantages over others.”

It does not say:

بما فضل الله الرجال علي النساء

“Since God has given men advantages over women.”

In fact here it means mutual rights not superiority. The interpretation of guardianship is presented and guardianship is not specified to men, rather woman is the one who safeguards values and fundamentals as well. However, God considers the characteristics of both woman and man and accordingly the duty of superiority.

In the words of the Chief of the Faithful, fear in its absolute sense is not considered, for instance, the action of Her Eminence Zahra to reclaim Fadak, is an example and the action not being for material gain indicates the courage of that lady.

His Holiness Ali (P) observing one, who has such an indifference towards the world, comes to the field in like manner, bears difficulties and never fears, never stated that the actions of Her Eminence Zahra (P) were incompatible with the fundamentals of Islam. For instance, at the time of usurpation of the caliphate, she, along with a group of women of Quraish entered the mosque to prove the legitimacy of the guardianship leadership of the Chief of the Faithful (P) and safeguard the principles as well. This shows why fear is reasonable on some occasions and is not desirable in any conditions. It can only be practical for safeguarding and protecting the woman.

Written by Abbas Ali Shameli

How Can Women Benefit Rewards of Jihad?

May 7, 2016/in Ladies, Lifestyle /by amin edrisi

In Islamic culture, jihad is the highest degree of readiness and receptivity of the personality of a Muslim. However jihad is not specified only to men but to the woman, too. She has her own jihad and can perform a role of the same level as men’s jihad. Without doubt, the ground for activating this role has roots inside the family. Imam Ali’s (P) states:

جهاد المراة حسن التبعل

“A woman’s jihad (as a wife) is having good behavior towards the husband”.

This message is related only to the relation of woman with her husband however, woman’s relation is not limited only to her husband but inside the family she has relations with the children and relatives too. Nevertheless, the value and status of woman’s good conduct and treatment towards her husband is similar to her presence in the battlefield for jihad.

In general, other roles of woman are related to the affairs of everyday life. With this statement, one comes to think that such obedience might result in the erosion of woman’s personality and instilling within her passivity and indiscriminate submission to the husband but the meaning of having good attitude and treatment towards the husband and the evidences of good conduct can be found in Her Eminence Zahra’s (P) remarks and testament on His Holiness Ali (P), the testament which is in fact an explanation of “good treatment”. Her Eminence Zahra (P) tells her husband:

«يابن عمّ ماعهدتني كاذبة ولا خائنة و لا خالفتك منذ عاشرتني»

“O cousin, have you observed any lie, treachery or opposition from my part, during our marital life? I mean, during our marital life, can you mention the time when I have told a lie, an instance of disloyalty or a remark which I have expressed opposition?”

This remark indicates that good conduct of a woman revolves around the three following pivots:

Shows honesty in her behavior and speech towards her husband and never tells a lie.
Shows loyalty with regards to property, chastity and reputation and faithfulness and demonstrates her sincerity and loyalty regarding property and chastity.
Never makes life bitter for her and her husband with opposition and discord of any kind.

Remarkably, His Holiness Ali (P) following the enumeration of these three pivots, states:

معاذ الله!

فقال (ع): معاذالله انت اعلم و ابرّ و اتقي و اكرم و اشد خوفاً من الله ان او بخك بمخالفتي.

“I seek refuge in Allah. O, my wife you are of a higher position to tell such words, you are more knowledgeable, more righteous, pious and magnanimous in relation to the divine obligations and your fear of God is to an extent that prevents you from having such deficiencies in your personality.”

Comparing the two sides of this narration, one can find out that a person can tell no lie, commit no treachery and wrongdoing if he/she is cognizant of God, in other words, has awareness of divine rules and religion, possess conviction with regards to God and His religion. Such a personality is concerned of God’s Justice and Fairness regarding piety and behavioral control.

His Holiness Ali (P) in reply to the question, “What is your experience during the 9 years of living with Her Eminence Zahra (P)?” states:

و الله لا اغضبتني اذلتني و لا عصت لي امراً

“She never makes me angry and never disobeys my command at all.”

Her Eminence Zahra (P) had such knowledge of the personality of His Holiness Ali (P) that he had devoted her life to the stability of his guardianship though it may seem that she had devoted her life to her husband. Of course, there might be two spouses, who being as one with each other, sincerely offer whatever they have to each other but Her Eminence Fatimah (P) not only did this but also was concerned of the strengthening of His Holiness Ali’s guardianship.

Some claim that they are Imams and have specific knowledge and others state that the concept of a woman as presented in Imam Ali’s remarks is too idealistic and it may be unachievable in real life however, it must be taken into consideration that they are witnesses of God, they are examples and proofs who will testify in the Hereafter. Unfortunately, in discussing woman’s personality it is said that woman should be like this and like that, she should not disobey and so on failing to see the other side of the coin. There are some people who relate to obligations of the spouse according to their own interests, rationalizing the rules of Islam to their own advantage.

The management inside the family and responsible supervision over the internal affairs of the family is another clear and distinct role of a Muslim woman. The Chief of the Faithful, Ali (P), quoting from the Holy Prophet (P) states: “One of the points of

كلكم راع و كلكم مسئول عن رعيته

“All of you should be a shepherd towards your flock.”

Refers to the woman’s role and responsibility initiated inside the family. His Holiness states in this regard:

والمراة راعية علي بيت زوجها و هي مسئوله

“The woman is the supervisor and the one responsible inside the house, in the family and in relation with her husband.”

Therefore, the supervision over the sphere of the family assigned to the spouse (wife) is considered one of the clear and obvious proofs of general supervision. Through this supervision, tensions inside the family will fade away and the ground for a sound life will be paved as well.

Written by Abbas Ali Shameli

Archive for month: May, 2016