Archive for month: June, 2016

Question: High and excessive dowries have become a sort of competition between people and a cause of pride and boast in the meetings of women. And this is the reason that prevents the youth from getting married, and therefore, corruption spreads and the number of spinsters increases. The worst of the matter is that girls lose more because of the excessive dowries whereas parents do not feel their sufferings, and then when girls do something against their parents’ will, the girls themselves are blamed and not the parents. The question is: what is the solution to this dangerous social problem?

The answer: A Muslim society that turns away from the true Islam strays into troubles and problems forever, unless it turns back to religion sincerely. This is the responsibility of all as the Prophet (S) says, ‘All of you are guardians and all of you are responsible for your subjects.’

Flagrant, material manifestations like high dowries and external beauty have overwhelmed the lives of Muslims to the extent of absence of morals and principles. At the same time, troubles, problems, and enmities have filled their lives.

Islam has openly prohibited excessive dowries. The Prophet (S) said, ‘Do not exaggerate dowries of women, lest enmity comes out!’

When we correlate this saying with the saying of Allah in the Qur’an, (Surely the Satan is your enemy, so take him for an enemy)5, we conclude that exaggerating dowries is something pleasing to the Satan and thus is not a good deed. The Muslim family that accepts dowry as a means of happiness for their daughters actually brings them enmity and unhappiness by exaggerating that dowry.

The Prophet (S) says, ‘The best women of my umma are those of prettiest faces and smallest dowries.6’

In my opinion, “with prettiest faces” means happy mien and bloom and not physical beauty as many people think. There are many women with pretty faces who are sullen and gloomy; therefore, they would not be the best of women even if their dowries were small.

Certainly it is not this that the Prophet (S) has meant by “pretty faces”. Far be it from him to wrong the women who have not been created with pretty faces! Therefore, we are certain that the Prophet (S) has meant the moral beauty that gives woman happy mien, bloom, activeness, and high spirits, and these things are the most important factors of happiness in the marital life. When these qualities come together with a small dowry, a woman will be beautiful and one of the best women even if she lacks material beauty. The Prophetic traditions confirm what we have said. The Prophet (S) said, ‘Whoever marries a woman just for her wealth, Allah will subject him to the wealth. Whoever marries a woman just for her beauty, he will see in her what he dislikes. But, whoever marries a woman for her faith, Allah will gather for him all that he likes in her.’

This is sufficient evidence to destruct the ignorant concepts of the material civilization and restore the religious concepts to people. Whoever turns away from this right path, will be an easy prey for devils from the humans and the jinn.

source :for a better future

Question: What is the opinion of Islam about the period between the engagement and the wedding? Some people make the period too long and some make it short. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

The answer: The length of the period depends on the circumstances of the spouses. However, there are some manners that must be observed during this period:

1. Hearty love, intellectual closeness, and mutual visits between the families of the two spouses to better know each other and to strengthen the relations between them are recommended.

2. They should avoid all that may hurt this blessed relation; offensive words, insults, and bad behaviors that cause hatred must be avoided. If some of this takes place accidentally from any of the spouses, they should apologize, excuse each other, and determine not to do that mistake again.

3. The spouses should read books about marital relations to learn the principles, rights, and manners of marriage.

4. They should not mistrust each other or argue over every matter.

5. The wife should learn how to manage the affairs of her new house and should convince herself of her new responsibilities. The husband also has to undertake his new responsibilities outside the house and inside the house in helping his wife as much as he possibly can.

6. During this period, the spouses should avoid doing what should be done on the night of wedding!

7. It is better to make this period short.

8. They should take care of cleaning their bodies and getting rid of unpleasant smells, especially the smell of the mouth by brushing the teeth five times before every prayer, or at least three times, before and after sleeping, and after lunch. They should use perfumes because the Prophet (S) always used perfume and he had recommended his Umma to also use it, except for women who should not use perfume except for their husbands or their mahrams in order to not incite the lusts of others.

source : FOR A BETTER FUTURE

Question: What is the opinion of Islam about singing and dancing in wedding ceremonies? The opinions of people are contrary; some say it is lawful while others say it is unlawful.

The answer: In Islam, they are unlawful. The Prophet (S) has said, ‘Allah has sent me as mercy to people, and to eradicate musicals, pipes, and the habits of the pre-Islamic era (jahiliyyah).’1 It is because play, amusement, and singing do not meet with the aims of mercy, worship, and closeness to Allah.

Jurisprudents have agreed that during the night of the wedding, singing poetry with good and polite meanings is lawful, especially if it has praises of the Prophet (S) and his progeny. Some jurisprudents have permitted classical and quiet dancing, which is not mixed (between men and women) and which does not excite lust.

This exception (in permitting singing and dancing) is limited to weddings. Abu Baseer narrated, ‘Once, I asked Abu Abdullah (Imam as-Sadiq) (a.s.) about the income of a songstress (the money she gains for singing) and he said, ‘It is unlawful for one, to whom men come, but there is no problem for the one, who is invited to weddings.’

The wisdom in this exception is that Islam has made a distinction between marriage and adultery. Since adultery is done without the presence of people, Islam has intended for marriage to be performed openly and with attractive sound so that people can recognize this new marital relation between these two persons.

Many arguments have taken place between jurisprudents about the new methods in the world of singing and music. Many of them have considered singing and music unlawful because they cause many bad consequences. From the instruments of music and amusement, which incite lust, unlawful behaviors begin besides the bad poetry used in songs and the mixing between men and women until major sins are committed. Then, no excuse will remain for the angels to attend and bless that marriage.

Those who try to close their eyes to these unlawful doings under demonstrations of istihsan (approval) and assent have ignored that Islam wants weddings to be performed in spiritual and moral spheres fitting the principles of Islam and not the desires of the disease-hearted people who imitate the corruptive methods of the West.

We disagree with using instruments of amusements to turn weddings, which are acts of worship, to a stage of unlawful doings and behaviors. We reject the inviting of the Satan and the preventing of the angels to attend this honorable occasion.

The believers, who desire to be free from bad deeds until the Day of Resurrection, should avoid all that is performed by bad and disobedient people in their weddings, and thus they will be kept away from those upon whom Allah has brought His wrath.

Let us think about it in this way: would any of our infallible Imams (a.s.) attend a wedding in which singing and dancing were practiced if he were invited to it?

If we suppose that we are in the age of the reappearance of Imam al-Mahdi (a.s.) and he is amongst us now, what will he think about our behaviors in the wedding?

Come! Let us make this faith in the unseen and our love for the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) the criterion of our behaviors on the occasions of joy so that Allah may bless these occasions for us.

We hope that the believers adhere to the limits of Islam and do not follow the Satan who wants them to fall in his traps and lose the blessings of weddings, which are from the Sunna of the Prophet (S) and the recommendable acts that are semi-obligatory.

source:FOR A BETTER FUTURE