My husband and I are very poorly matched and have almost nothing in common and I am much more educated than he is; should we get divorced?
Question: I am overcome with despair for my marital life to proceed happily. This is because, as I think, of the difference between my husband and me in intellect, culture, and understanding affairs of living. I am a university graduate while he has not even finished elementary school. I have a scientific position while he is weak and he stammers when he wants to show what he intends to say. Therefore, I feel that we do not understand each other. Do you think that divorce will guarantee happiness for both of us?
The answer: Dear sister, there are three choices before you:
The first: you may choose to be satisfied with the situation you are in and to not compare your life with the lives of others. This requires you, first, to not think of others besides your husband, and second, you should try your best to make him understand what you understand. You should be aware that the basis of success in this life is sincerity in love and looking forward to the reward of Allah and the good end of patience.
The second: you may continue feeling dissatisfied and continue worrying about your life and relationship, which definitely means eliminating marital happiness.
The third, you may choose divorce, which is lawful but Allah hates it and His Throne shakes for it except when the joint life of spouses reaches a dead end.
If you ask me, I will not hesitate to advise you to follow the first way. Mutual understanding most of the time means submitting to the lawful wish of the husband and neglecting your personal wishes, but with making him feel that this is only for the love of Allah and for the continuity of a happy marital life.
Beware of being proud of the elements of preference you have, such as a university diploma and the like, because this is a way leading to a bad end and is a defect that does not befit a learned Muslim girl. Your intellect requires you to know that happiness is gained through morals and faith while university diplomas and scientific information alone do not produce happiness and ease.
Dear sister, I hope that you pay attention to this fact before you are filled with regret. This is my opinion if the reason for your despair is as you have mentioned. However, if your husband is in a state that makes him unsuccessful and unfit for you, the solution will be to follow the third way. May Allah be with you!