My in-laws are causing marital problems for me and my wife and she struggles to balance her relationship between me and them; how can we solve this problem?
Question: My wife’s relatives interfere in the affairs of my marital life, and so they have made our life full of troubles. As for my wife, she is divided between her relatives and me. Her heart is with me, but her courtesies are with them, and all the while, confusion hovers as a cloud over her head. I do not know how to save her and myself from her curious family!
The answer: You can send some wise people as mediators to persuade your wife’s relatives to stop their interferences, which may destroy the happiness of their daughter if they truly want her happiness. But before all, let us be realistic. Please, think of yourself! Perhaps you practice a wrong behavior that needs to be repaired!
If you are certain about yourself, you should send mediators; otherwise, repair yourself and carry out these steps reasonably and with lenient morals:
1. Explain your opinions to your wife and let her stand with you in this ordeal to avoid any dispute or quarrel with her family!
2. Change your behavior towards her family and be lenient to them. Allah says,(Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and you there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend).
3. Let you and your wife be busy with building your future, and do not listen to others’ criticism and disputes as long as you understand each other and look forward to the pleasure of Allah.
4. On some occasions, offer your wife’s relatives some presents to gain their love and to clear the old dregs from their hearts.