Because of my illness I get distressed very easily. How can I be happy with my life?

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Happy family with several members in education process

Question: I am thirty years old. Pain and illnesses have done to my body what they have not done to old people’s bodies. I have become tired of doctors and drugs. I have become desperate of everything, even supplications and vows though I respect religion and the Ulama’’. I am very angry due to my state and always ask myself why Allah has afflicted me with these distresses that have made me suspect my religious beliefs and become nervous at any excitement. I hope with your help that I may be happy in life with my wife and children who suffer with me.

The answer: The Iranian magazine Ittila’at Ilmi, vol. 23, seventh year has quoted from the magazine (Reader’s Digest, Feb. 1993) a scientific study emphasizing that most bodily illnesses are results of psychological disorders. According to this fact, man causes himself bodily illnesses if he does not care for his psychological health.

The study adds, ‘For example, cancer and tuberculosis attack complaining and desperate persons. Peptic ulcer attacks persons who pant for high positions. Arthritis and chronic inflammations are the shares of rigorous persons whose hearts are full of hatred against others and who do not pardon or forgive others. Headache attacks those who keep their anger inside them.

Psychological disorders, like anger, fear, and distress, exhaust precious powers of the mind and the body and then psychological fatigue, pains, and illnesses come instead.’

The study adds, ‘Self-confidence and not letting fear and being upset overcome oneself make man carry out his daily activities in a way that delights his heart and comforts his mind. With comfort and hearty relief, man’s body enjoys safety and healthiness. In fact, even a broken bone recovers earlier if one’s mind is peaceful and his heart is calm and satisfied.’

The author of this scientific study says, ‘Man, for the sake of his bodily health, must free himself from the complex of failure and defeat. If he imprisons himself in this complex or he fails to free himself from it, he will face problems, pains, and illnesses such as asthma, headache, and nasal sinuses inflammation.’

Dear brother, what I want to tell you is that what we all need to do is take care of our health. Let us achieve it and recommend others to it so that our minds and bodies enjoy peacefulness and safety because “a sound mind is in a sound body”. Islamic traditions have indicated these solutions and emphasized that the healthiness of the body is the result of the healthiness of mentality. Islam was the first to show the scientific method of keeping psychological and physical health.

This study, which has been preceded by the Islamic theory, emphasizes the Islamic instructions by recommending the following:

1. Assure yourself every day that you are sound and safe because this self-suggestion prevents you from feeling weak or submitting to illness!

2. Try to live normally and do not be greedy and do not pant for this life so that you become involved in some situations out of greediness! Doing so exhausts your intellectual, psychological, and physical powers.

3. Assign to yourself some times for rest, relaxation, and harmless amusement!

4. Believe in Allah sincerely so that you feel the warmth of this faith inside your heart, and this will make feel comfortable and delighted whenever you mention Allah and worship Him!

5. Tell yourself everyday that you are better than you were yesterday and actually be so lest your conscience says to you: away! O you, self-deceiver!

If you adhere to these five recommendations after perceiving the medical fact mentioned above, you will be delighted and psychologically cheerful and this is what brings you physical healthiness and fruitful activity.

You should know that distrusting the true religious beliefs is itself a cause of psychological diseases that cause bodily diseases. At the same time when that scientific study and the sayings of many western psychologists declare that faith in Allah has a great role in curing psychological troubles and bodily diseases, it does not fit a Muslim to let the Satan or his followers in the society whisper evil to him and play with his mind.

It is narrated that the Prophet (S) has said, ‘I wonder at a believer why he becomes angry at illness! If he knows what benefit he receives because of illness, he would wish to remain ill until he meets his Lord1.’

Of course, this is if the illness is chronic and doctors cannot cure it or the ailing believer is unable to pay for the treatment.

Dear brother, I hope you will return to your religious beliefs and strengthen your morale by them in order to not fail in this trial because then you would lose this life and the afterlife together. You should know well that losing this life and its pleasures is easier to you than losing the eternal Paradise where there will be no pain, no disease, no old age, and no death.

source:For a Better Future

How do I get rid of the habit of lying?

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lieQuestion: I know well that lying is one of the vices, but I practice it easily in small or great situations. I do not know how to get rid of it. Please guide me, may Allah reward you with good!

The answer: Every action may change into a habit whether it is good or bad. Lying has become a habit to you and so, although it will be difficult, you have to defeat this habit by being very careful for a period of time until it changes into its opposite, which is truthfulness.

First, repent and ask Allah to forgive you this sin before death surprises you and then you would go to the painful punishment that Allah has prepared for the liars.

Second, be alone with yourself, ponder on the reasons that have led you to this vice and try to finish off those causes in order to get rid of the result.

Third, compare the advantages of truthfulness and the harms of lying on every side – family, society and individually! For example, you can read some books in this concern and then the motives of straightness will be able to treat your case.

Fourth, accustom yourself to do good deeds such as reading religious books, pondering on the hereafter, helping the needy, being dutiful to parents, and teaching others what you have learnt of religion!

Fifth, always remember the tradition, ‘A believer does not feel the pleasure of faith in his heart, until he gives up lying, whether it is done seriously or jokingly.’

Sixth, think that if your lying is uncovered before others, which it undoubtedly will be, then what will your situation be? How will you meet with that embarrassment?

Seventh, know well that a liar has no dignity near people and near his relatives! Do you want to be worthless near people?

I hope, with these practical points, that you are able to rid yourself of a feature that you know well to be one of the worst vices.

Source :for a Better Future

How should I deal with having a friend who I care about but who has bad behavior?

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74915-large-287149Question: I am a teenager from a religious family. I have a friend who is corrupt, but I am very fond of him. I do not know what to do!

The answer: Use your love towards him as a means of advising him and saving him by taking him towards guidance! It has been narrated in a Prophetic tradition that guiding one person is better than the worldly life and all it contains.

Do not forget that love is good when it reaps goodness and it is a means of deviation when it transfers bad morals from your friend to you! A rational person is one who thinks of the outcome of things and then considers the actual situation – what is important and what is more important.

Try to be more reasonable than sentimental because if emotion overpowers you in the important situations, it will destroy you and then convey you to Hell! Of course, this is not what you want nor can bear.

Source :for a Better Future

How do I ask forgiveness for my sins?

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Question: I am a young man. I have been involved in a great sin. Feeling sin on the one hand and my weak determination before my lust on the other hand have made me desperate of the forgiveness of Allah, and I feel that I will definitely be in Hell. At the same time, I fear that I am not right in this opinion. Would you please guide me to the right solution?

The answer: Confess your sin before Allah and pray to Him to help you with a real repentance! You do not need to ask for forgiveness with a difficult language or eloquent words. Speak easily and spontaneously and say what is inside your heart in any way you can, for Allah knows what is in one’s heart even before it comes to his tongue.

Know well that despairing of the forgiveness of Allah is a sin even greater than the sin you were originally involved in, because despair opens the door wider before you to commit all sins and it is this that will get you into Hell and not your first sin! Therefore, Islam has considered despairing of Allah’s mercy as the greatest of sins. It is this that Satan, the first enemy of man, wants for you on the Day of Resurrection.

O young man, fill your heart with a big hope of getting the forgiveness of Allah and try determinedly not to commit the sin again! When you commit a sin, you should hasten immediately to Allah and ask Him to forgive you. You should never cut your relation with Allah in any case. If you go east or west, you shall not find a god like your Lord, Whom you disobey but He, although able to punish you at once, grants you a respite and says that He loves those who ask Him for forgiveness, loves the repentant, and loves those who purify themselves. Besides, He loves to reward you with His Paradise if you turn to Him sincerely.

O young man, whatever you may have done to disobey Allah, you are still not a polytheist. Allah has made incumbent on Himself to forgive everything other than polytheism. Let the Satan not delay you in seeking forgiveness and make you lose the opportunity, for you do not know when you shall die. You may die at the moment of your procrastination and then you will have wasted the opportunity and lost the eternal happiness.

When you decide to return to Allah, do not forget that the crux of repentance is feeling regretful for what you have committed, determining to give up that sin forever, giving the dues of people back to them, and offering the missed obligations as much as possible! Abide by this sincerely and you will find that the pleasure of lawful things is sweeter than the pleasure of unlawful things.

Author(s):

  • Abdul Adheem al-Muhtadi al-Bahrani

How can I make use of my age and youth?

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use-of-my-ageQuestion: How can I make use of my age and youth? When I see the others (old people) who did nothing worthwhile in life and wasted, during their youth, their times in nonsensical and absurd things that did not provide them with a good future, I become more determined and tell myself “I do not want to be like them”. But I do not know what to do or how I should begin and what the causes of failure are. Please show me the way!

The answer: There are three main factors that waste one’s time, age, and good opportunities, and consequently they throw man into the afterlife empty-handed save with regret.

The first factor is the individual himself through:

1. living nervously

2. being busy with trivial and unnecessary things

3. living irregularly without organizing his times and works

4. procrastination and laziness

5. curiosity and interfering in others’ affairs

6. having poor information about the necessary issues of life

7. loneliness and little association with the society

8. hesitation and not being determined in taking decisions

9. not planning for the future

The second factor is the individual and the others around him through:

1. long idle meetings

2. guests that come with no appointment

3. speaking on the telephone for a long time on trivial and unimportant matters

4. unreasonable requests of others

5. associating with aimless persons

6. amusement programs, especially sitting for hours to watch TV serials and cinema movies

The third factor is accidents, like:

1. illness

2. traffic accidents

3. losing things such as money, books, and other things

Dear brother, you should be aware of these things that deprive you of your time and ease, and you should not engage in these behaviors. On the other hand, you should read the life histories of the great and successful people. You will learn how to make use of your time, how to build your life and future, and then you will make your family and other people proud of you. The thing more important than all that is that you will please Allah and He will please you when you will meet Him lonely and then He will grant you the eternal bliss. This is the right way and all else is loss and torment.

source:For a Better Future

40 Qualities a Good Muslim Youth Should Have

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Muslim-Youth2-1200x661 If a young Muslim wants to be a successful person in his/her life he or she should possess the following  40 qualities:

  1. Sincerely believing in Allah and completely relying on Him

    2. Being able to control and lead himself

    3. Always looking for progress and success within what Allah has permitted

    4. Driving fear away from inside him

    5. Being magnanimous and patient

    6. Not belittling himself

    7. Observing the Islamic principles and dealing with people accordingly

    8. Making use of every blessing Allah has given to him

    9. Caring for his health and the right of his body over him

    10. Not being excessive in eating and drinking

    11. Serving other people as much as possible

    12. Not being confused when someone disagrees with him concerning his true belief, for people, throughout history, are different

    13. Liking to undertake and carry out responsibilities

    14. Being frank and honest and not beating around the bush

    15. Not delaying in doing good

    16. Reading useful books that will benefit him

    17. Making friends with good people

    18. Not thinking of gaining the content of everyone around him, because this requires hypocrisy

    19. Avoiding disputes and idle talks

    20. Not mocking others

    21. Mentioning the good deeds and fine qualities of others

    22. Criticizing himself and watching his deeds

    23. Persuading himself that he is able to do what is required

    24. Thanking Allah for every blessing

    25. Not being like a tool in the hands of others

    26. Knowing his position in life well

    27. Showing his opinion with evidence when needed

    28. Being more a listener than a speaker

    29. Offering presents to those who have given him presents on occasions

    30. Believing that he is important in life and has a value in the existence

    31. Not involving himself in bad doings, and when this happens, he has to repent, pray to Allah to forgive him, and try to restore his morale

    32. Not living idly and not wasting his time

    33. Looking forward to the future and trying to achieve it sincerely

    34. Arming himself with good deeds to receive the death that he shall meet inevitably

    35. Not spending his life unmarried

    36. Reciting the Qur’an and supplications with understanding and reflection

    37. Not being satisfied with a certain limit of success and stop going forward

    38. Pardoning those who do wrong to him

    39. Strengthening his relations with his kin and being dutiful to his family

    40. Ordering his life, relations and all his affairs

 

Written by: Abdul Adheem al-Muhtadi al-Bahrani

Translated by: Abdullah al-Shahin

Is Islam Against Fun, Recreation and Joking?

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smiling-kidsIn order to answer this question, we first need to analyze what Islam’s viewpoint is on the purpose of the creation of mankind and the usage of natural blessings such as the mountains, jungles and legitimate recreation and joy and the like. The main source of Islamic law and teachings, the holy Quran says: “I did not create the jinn and the humans except that they may worship Me (so that as a result, they perfect and draw nearer towards Me).”

According to this, the least concentration on the purpose of creation allows us to draw the conclusion that the main purpose is servitude (which is the perfection of man) and other reasons such as knowledge and being put to the test are all actually ways of getting us to the main goal of servitude which results in Allah’s great grace and mercy towards us.

Islam also has some statements regarding joking; for instance it has been reported that Imam Sadiq (as) said: “All believers have “do’abeh”. It was asked “What is do’abeh?” His Excellency replied: “Joking.” There are many hadiths in our hadith books that say that joking is mustahabb.

Yunus Shaybani narrates from Imam Sadiq (as) that his Excellency asked about how I joke with others. I answered that I joke very little. His Excellency said in a scolding manner: “Why don’t you kid with others? Don’t you know that kidding with others is part of one’s good character and behavior?” In this hadith, his Excellency goes on to say that even the Prophet (pbuh) used to kid with others, trying to make them happy.

The many examples of our prophet (pbuh) kidding with others and his decent acts for making others happy all show that although his Excellency was of good behavior and a joyful and kidding personality, yet he would never cross the borders of truth in speech and his jokes were never false, bad, unacceptable or nonsense. As he himself says: “I might kid around but I only say the truth.” This statement both shows us that kidding was part of the tradition of Rasulullah (pbuh) and it also lets us know of the boundaries of this tradition.

Imam Ali (as) tells his son: “The believer is one who has these three times in his/her day: one part of the day needs to be spent in spiritual matters and calling Allah (swt) and supplication, one part of the day goes for earning a living and having an income and other worldly affairs and a third part must be spent in recreation and halal pleasures and fun.” What is interesting is that in another similar hadith, there is another phrase in the end of the hadith that says that this third part of the day is a help to the other programs one has during the day. What is important is that recreation and the like must be religiously legitimate, or else other problems will come up. There are many illegitimate forms of recreation that cause spiritual and physical problems, resulting in the individual not being able to work for a while, and this is exactly the opposite of what the hadith calls as one of the main reasons for having fun (in order to get energy for other important plans one has for the day such as working and studying).

Recreation in Islam is a very important issue to the extent that it has been reported that competitions were held in the presence of the holy Prophet (pbuh) and that he even was supervisor and referee to some of them. Imam Khomeini has also considered travelling a form of legitimate recreation in his risalah and his sayings: “There is no problem in travelling for fun and recreation, the only thing is that it needs to be legitimate.” He goes on to say: “I don’t mean to say that we aren’t supposed to have any recreation and that we always have to be busy (with work), what I mean is that the youth need to organize and plan their time.” He also says regarding listening to the radio and watching television: “Television is the most sensitive instrument of propagation, thus it must observe morality and be educational and at the service of Islam and not that it mustn’t be used at all.”

Not only doesn’t Islam object to swimming in the sea, but it encourages us to teach our children how to swim, shoot and horse-ride. Of course, one must be careful not to mix these sound activities with illegitimate acts, and that is why Imam Khomeini was against those who would go to the beach and cause illegitimate and haram acts to take place.

In short, there is no monasticism and extremism in Islam, as it has been reported that the Prophet prohibited monasticism in Islam. Taking into consideration the clues that were mentioned from the Quran and traditions, one can easily conclude that Islam is a religion that has guidelines for all of the different aspects of life, even materialistic ones and how to consume and make use of the various blessings that Allah (swt) has bestowed upon us and how to joke and have fun.

Why old age is brilliant light on the Day of Resurrection?

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Question

As in hadith below it is explained, why old age is brilliant light on the day of Resurrection? Imam al-Sadiq (AS) said, ‘I have never seen anything catch up with something faster than old age catches up with a believer, for verily it is a source of dignity for the believer in this world and a brilliant light for him on the Day of Resurrection. Allah, Most High, honoured Abraham (AS) with it [old age], who said, ‘What is this, my Lord?’ to which Allah replied, ‘This is dignity’, so Abraham said, ‘O my Lord, increase me in dignity then.’[Amali al-Tusi, p. 699, no. 1492]

Answer

In the religion of Islam, old age has been considered to be a privilege for the aged in order for others to respect them. There are two sets of traditions in this regard one of which emphasizes on respecting aged people under all circumstances without restrictions. The holy Prophet of Islam (S) has been narrated as having said: “Whoever knows the merit and respect of old age and respect the aged ones, God will relieve him of the fear and horror of the Day of Resurrection.[1]
Imam Sadiq (A.S) said, “He is not from us, who does not respect the old and do not have pity on children.”[2]
Another set of traditions have also been reported about respecting aged and faithful Muslims. Respecting aged ones who are Muslim and faithful has been stressed upon. The Holy Prophet (S) has been reported as having said: “Whoever respects a Muslim (man or woman) whose hair has turned white due to old age in the way of Islam, God will relieve him of the fear and horror of the Day of Resurrection.”[3]
Imam Sadiq (A.S) said: “Respecting a white-haired believer, is a part of respecting the Lord. Whoever respects a believer has begun to respect God and whoever disregards a white-haired believer, God will designate someone to belittle him.”[4]
For an old and aged Muslim person especially he who is believing one, in addition to worldly respect accorded to him in the religion, old age has been considered to be a privilege for the aged on the Day of Resurrection. The whiteness of the hair will be for him as brilliant light on the Day of Resurrection.
In this regard, Imam Sadiq, peace be upon him, says: “I have never seen anything catch up with something faster than old age catches up with a believer, for verily it is a source of dignity for the believer in this world and a brilliant light for him on the Day of Resurrection. Allah, Most High, honoured Abraham (AS) with it [old age], who said, ‘What is this, my Lord?’ to which Allah replied, ‘This is dignity’, so Abraham said, ‘O my Lord, increase me in dignity then.”[5]
Also, else where Imam Sadiq (A.S) said: “A man went to the Prophet (S) who looked at his hair and said that it was light. He whose hair has become white in Islam, the whiteness of his hair will turn to brightness on the Day of Resurrection.”[6]
One of the reasons for the fact that this sign of old age will be brilliant light for the believer is that an aged man has had more opportunity to worship God and attain the degrees of faith (iman) and also to get rid of the darkness of ignorance and nafs (carnal soul). Since he has availed himself of the opportunity acquiring the light of faith, as evidenced by many verses of the Holy Quran[7] and that God himself places the divine light in a believer’s heart,[8] and the believer had been increasing the brilliance of his body and soul, God the Exalted will make his hair a sign of the brilliant light of his soul, the light which he has gained as a result of worshipping Allah and acquiring some degrees of faith.

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[1].«مَنْ عَرَفَ فَضْلَ کَبِیرٍ لِسِنِّهِ فَوَقَّرَهُ آمَنَهُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَزَعِ یَوْمِ الْقِیَامَةِ» Kulayni, Muhammad, Al-Kafi, researched and edited by Ghaffari, Ali Akbar, Akhundi, Muhammad, vol.2, p. 658, Dar al-Kutub al-Islamiyah, Tehran, fourth edition, 1407 A.H.
[2] «لَیْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَمْ یُوَقِّرْ کَبِیرَنَا، وَ یَرْحَمْ صَغِیرَنَا» Sheikh Hurr Amili, Muhammad bin Hasan, Hidayat al-Ummah Ila Ahkam al-Aemmah (A), vol.5, p. 156, Astaan al-Razawiyah al-Muqaddash, Majma’ al-Bohuth al-Islamiyah, Mashad, first edition, 1414 A.H.
[3] «مَنْ وَقَّرَ ذَا شَیْبَةٍ فِی ‏الْإِسْلَامِ ‏آمَنَهُ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلّ َمِن ْفَزَعِ یَوْمِ الْقِیَامَةِ» Al-Kafi, vol.2, p. 658.
[4] «مِنْ إِجْلَالِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ إِجْلَالُ الْمُؤْمِنِ ذِی الشَّیْبَةِ وَ مَنْ أَکْرَمَ مُؤْمِناً فَبِکَرَامَةِ اللَّهِ بَدَأَ وَ مَنِ اسْتَخَفَّ بِمُؤْمِنٍ ذِی شَیْبَةٍ أَرْسَلَ اللَّهُ إِلَیْهِ مَنْ یَسْتَخِفُّ بِهِ قَبْلَ مَوْتِهِ»، Al-Kafi, vol.2, p. 658.
[5] Sheikh Tusi, Al-Amali, al-Nas, p. 699, Dar al-Thaqafah, Qom, first edition, 1414 A.H.
[6] Al-Kafi, vol.6, p. 480.
[7] “And to whomsoever Allah does not give light, he has no light.” [al-Noor, 40] “That is Allah’s grace; He grants it to whom He pleases, and Allah is the Lord of mighty grace.” [al-Jumu’ah, 4] “He is the one who follows the right way; and whomsoever He causes to err, these are the losers.” [al-A’raf, 178] “his is Allah’s guidance, He guides thereby whom He pleases of His servants.” [ al-An’am, 88]
[8] Sadruddin Shirazi, Muhammad, Sharh Usool al-Kafi, researched and edited, Khajawi, Muhammad, vol.1, p. 207, Center for Cultural Research and Studies, Tehran, first edition, 1383 A.H

The best name you can pick for your child

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Names and labels are signs and mirrors that reveal the character and nature of that person or thing. Name, is a word that automatically reminds you of the named – the owner – when hearing it. It is necessary for every creature (plant, animal, object and…) to have a name reminiscent and distinctive of their entity.

Providing that mankind is the greatest of all creatures and that every single human possesses a different and distinct set of attributes, it is only right to choose the most appropriate and suitable of names for each and every one of them, a name specifically suitable with the honorable and proud human character. The Prophet of Islam (sa) said: “One of the rights a child has upon his parents is to choose a good and righteous name for him/her.”1

In Islam, having a good and righteous name is considered to be a value that has positive influence on the body and soul. Therefore it is upon every parent to put good and appropriate names on their children, for positive names remind you of good things while inappropriate names bring to mind bad thoughts which might insult the owner.

In Islamic ethical resources we find some criteria for righteous naming, for instance:

1. The name must be properly chosen to fit the owner’s personality throughout his life, during all periods and ages (childhood, teenage, youth and elder years).

2. It should not be one of the names of Allah Almighty. For example: Dhat, Rahman.

3. The best name is one that indicates obedience to God, like Abdullah, Abdurrahman and Abdurrahim.2

4. The names of the Prophets (as) and Imams (as); it has been stated in Ahadith that the best names are the names of the Prophets (sa).3
 Imam Sadeq (as) narrates from the Prophet of Islam (sa) that: whomever has three children and does not name one of them Muhammad has betrayed me.4

5. It must not have an immoral and regretful meaning or belong to an immoral figure.

In a hadith from Imam Baqir (as), the Prophet (sa) is quoted exemplifying the best and worst names as follows:

The best names: Abdullah, Abdurrahman and…. The worse names: Dharaar, Murrah, Harb and Dhaalem.5 In a few other hadith the names Hakam, Hakim, Khalid and Malik were added to the above.6

There are different levels amongst the good names, making some of them better and more valuable than the others. Hence it is important to choose the best name that exhibits the most standards.

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[1] “حق الولد علی والده ان یحسن اسمه و ادبه”.

[2] Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 101, pg. 130.

[3] Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 101, pg. 130.

[4] Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 101, pp. 130 and 131.

[5] Hurr Ameli, Wasa’el al-Shia, vol. 21, pg. 399, hadith 27403, Al-Maktabah al-Islamiyyah, fifth print, 1398 (AH).

[6] Hurr Ameli, Wasa’el al-Shia, vol. 21, pg. 398, hadith 27399.

Twelve points you should know about Marriage

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marryThere are a lot of excellence gained by, and recommendations for marriage in Hadiths as following:

  • Marriage is the greatest divine gift and blessing after being a muslim;
  • It is the tradition of the Prophet (s);
  • It is more recommended in youth;
  • Marriage is the most beautiful construction for Allah;
  • The prayer of a married person is seventy times more valuable than the prayer of a single person;
  • Marriage is the cause of increase in Rizq;
  • Serving the spouse has many rewards and brings about God’s forgiveness for sins;
  • The deeper affection for the spouse, the higher degree of faith;
  • It is recommended that husband tries to show his love to his wife through nice words;
  • If the husband is wealthy, he must not be thrifty or stingy towards his family;
  • Spending time with family is valuable and Allah would reward for it;
  • The ‘azabs (English: singles) are the worst of the umma.