What Are the Merits of a Timely Marriage?

marriageA timely marriage has many benefits, and a delayed marriage has many losses. Here, we will refer to some benefits of timely marriage:

1- Securing and Strengthening True Faith and Spiritualism

‘Marriage’ is one of the strongest shields against the enemies of faith. During one’s youth, on one side, the attractive forces of spirit and nature, purity and virtue become more active and invite man towards himself. On the other hand, the attractive forces of instinct and sexual lust and desire awaken and call man toward one another.

Each of these two attractive forces is essential and necessary and Allah has bestowed them on man by virtue of His wisdom and benevolence, for the sake of man’s progress, maturity and completion. The invitation of each one of them must be answered positively, and the requirements of each must be fulfilled. If the attractive forces and desires of lust and sex are not properly, wisely and as Allah has set it, answered and controlled, they would rebel and overflow and attack the positive forces of nature and spiritualism and, as they have become bold and wild, they might well ruin and destroy the positive forces!

Marriage is one of the best defensive means for youth in this battle and struggle.

2- Benefiting and Enjoying a Sweet and Cheerful Youth

The spring of marriage is the duration of youth. During this span of time, man is overwhelmed by a peculiar kind of enthusiasm and cheerfulness. If this period is not made good of and utilized, then very soon the autumn of age approaches and the cheerfulness finishes up or is diminished and declines, and man can no longer completely and thoroughly enjoy and utilize the benefits of marriage.

It is the lively, young, and happy love, which contributes and grants enthusiasm and purity to life; while the dead, old and withered love does not possess any enthusiasm and purity to extend to life!

Look at the bud. How it talks to us about life and freshness and gives us the message of life, hope, and aspiration. But the old withered flower talks about depression, hopelessness, ailment, and death. Youth are like that bud, which must be used positively and benefited in this period before they are lost. And so they must erect their marital life upon a solid, strong and even foundation.

The Prophet (S) has a very worthy and valuable saying in this regard which is an argument and authority for all, leaving back no room for lame excuses and unnecessary questioning.

“أيها الناس! إن جبرئيل أتاني عن اللطيف الخبير فقال: إن الأبكار بمنزلة”

“الثمر علي الشجر, إن أدرك ثمارها فلم تجتن أفسدته الشمس و نثرته”

“الرياح. و كذلك الأبكار إذا أدركن ما تدركن ما تدرك النساء فليس لهن دواء”

“الاالبعولة و إلا لم يؤمن عليهن الفساد لأنهن بشر”

“Oh people! Gabriel descended down to me from The All-Kind, All-knowing Allah and said: ‘Virgins are like the fruits of trees. When they become ripe (mature)(and the season of their plucking arrives), if they do not get picked, the sun’s heat made them sour and the winds of autumn make them scattered. So are virgin girls that when they reach puberty and attain that which women attain (i.e. menstruation) then there is no alternative for them except to be given husbands. And if they do not marry, there would be no security that they are not pushed towards corruption, because they are humans.” (Human beings are sexual instinct, which must definitely be satisfied by a spouse. Boys are also like that.”

The Prophet (S) is the total of intellect and reason, proclamations, commands and decrees, which he declares are from Almighty Allah. No style, view and opinion can confront Allah’s command. Any style, fashion, custom, habit, excuse and law which is opposite to Allah’s law is invalid, null, void and worthless.

Those who, for whatever reason delay marriage until the end of youth definitely face loss and damage. If we minutely and thoroughly examine society, we shall meet many people who faced great loss due to delaying their marriage; although they themselves may not perceive what made them face all that loss.

3- Remaining Pure From Corruption and Sexual Deviations

There is hardly a factor like corruption and sexual deviation that cause so much damage to young ones. These corruptions and deviations blacken the lives of boys and girls, and incur suck damage and loss upon the youth, that leaves negative effects on them for the rest of their lives.

Sexual deviation – one of which is masturbation, destroys and spoils the charm, freshness, faith, potential, talents and the existence of a man. Those who are concerned and have contact with society and the youth understand the depth of this tragedy. And they know the extent of irreversible harm and damage that is incurred upon the structure of society, families and youth by the corruption, deviation, sexual contamination and illicit relationships of boys and girls.

The condition of girls who are pushed towards destruction on this course is pitiable, since they have a soft and elegant spirit. They may be involved in the chastisement of their conscience and the burden of sin and agony until the end of their lives.

One of the best and worthiest benefits of marriage is the safety of man from this dirt, corruption and deviation. When I used to read this hadith of Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s), I would be amazed:

“من سعادة المرء أن لاتطمث ابنته بيته.”

“One of the prosperous matters that a man may get is that his daughter does not menstruate in his house”.

(i.e. before reaching that stage, she leaves for her husband’s house).

4- Safety from Nervous and Spiritual Diseases

If the sexual pressures and strains are not properly channeled through legal and correct ways, they bring into existence an abundant number of nervous and spiritual ailment and diseases, which damage those systems greatly.

These pressures, along with solitude, loneliness and homelessness and on the other hand, lack of a spouse and the pressure of instinct and spiritual agony and weakness of faith (may God forbid) drag one towards sexual deviation and going astray.

From the psychological and psychiatric points of view, sexual deviation, not having a spouse and sexual strains are of the major causes of spiritual and moral or nervous problems. Marriage with a suitable spouse is the best and most effective method of remedy.

Here we present the verse of the Qur’an that says:

“وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا …”

“And one of His signs is that he created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them…”(30:21)

Of course all the benefits described here are only accessible when marriage takes place with a suitable spouse.

Source: Youth and Spouse Selectio;  written by Ali Akbar Mazaheri  and translated by Javed Iqbal Qazilbash