Why do we find prevalence of sexual corruptions even among married people and otherwise religious people?
Question: It has been mentioned in Prophetic traditions that marriage is half of religion and it protects men and women from slipping into sexual corruptions. However, in our present age, we find married men and married women practicing adultery as they like. Is this a defect in the tradition or what? What is strange is that some religious, married men are very lustful. How do you interpret this phenomenon?
The answer: There are several reasons behind this kind of corruption of married persons:
1. Sexual impotence of one of the spouses
2. Excessive lustfulness
3. Leisure, recklessness, and wealth
4. A wish for variety, discovering and tasting different kinds of things
5. A wish for revenge, where, for example, one of the spouses may practice adultery to take revenge on the other because of a quarrel between them or something like that
6. Poverty and need, i.e., a person may practice adultery to obtain some money
7. Dislike for the spouse because of unattractiveness or ignorance in practicing sexual intercourse
8. Seduction and slipping into adultery at a moment of neglect
What is common between these reasons is a weakness in faith or the absence of faith. Therefore, we always insist on strengthening religious motives in man and continuing to instruct, remind, and warn him.
As for the excessive lust of religious people, the matter is different, because a religious person, if he really is religious, can satisfy his sexual lust with his wife; otherwise, religion permits him to marry another wife either in permanent marriage or temporary marriage within the legal conditions of each type of marriage.
If we suppose the opposite that it is the wife who wants to satisfy her sexual lust but her husband is unable to satisfy her (and this is very rare among religious women or may be impossible), here, a religious wife should try to occupy herself with something else and soon her excitement will go out. However, if she cannot satisfy herself with this resolution forever, she has two choices: either to agree with her husband to separate and get married to another man who is able to satisfy her sexual lust, although it is not recommended, or to be patient and satisfied with her fate based on “the important thing and the Most Important,” and this is something praiseworthy.
It is thus if the lust is too strong and cannot be controlled except through these resolutions. But the advice that I would like to give to spouses in religious families is that they, in order to not fall into sins, should lower their sights before the provocations in the television, magazines, and streets and avoid heavy meals, which excite their lust.
Allah says, (Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is Aware of what they do, and tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands’ fathers, or their sons or their husbands’ sons, or their brothers or their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigor, or children who know naught of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that you may succeed).
A religious man and a religious woman, even if they lower their gazes, may look at something unwillingly, and then their lust would become excited despite their wills. In this case, Islam has recommended the following:
‘If someone of you sees a beautiful woman and he admires her, let him go to sleep with his wife, because the pleasure is the same and what is got from sleeping with that woman is like what is got from sleeping with his wife.’
Islam has forbidden women and girls from displaying their charms even inside the house before their brothers, uncles, and even their fathers. Imam Ali (a.s.) narrates that one day a young man came to the Prophet (S) and asked him, ‘Should I ask my mother’s permission when I want to come in to her?’
The Prophet (S) said to him, ‘Do you want to see her without clothes?’
He said, ‘No, I do not.’
The Prophet (S) said, ‘Then, you should ask her permission.’
Then the young man asked, ‘Can my sister uncover her hair before me?’
The Prophet (S) said, ‘No, she cannot.’
The young man asked, ‘Why?’
The Prophet (S) said, ‘I fear for you that if she displays something of her charms before you, the Satan may provoke you.’
We understand from this story that the Prophet (S) has perceived the power of lust in this young man, as in any other young man, and recommended that before such persons, charms must be covered to avoid excitement and sin.
One who observes social cases, marital treasons, sins, files of the courts, and the news of the terrible events of sexual rapes, even against children, discovers how wide the gap is between Muslims and the warnings of the Qur’an and the Prophet (S). If they were closer to the Qur’an and the Sunna, they would not live in quarrels, corruption, and disgrace.
Dear young men and young women, do not follow the steps of the Satan, because they will lead you to his traps. Fear Allah secretly and openly, and let jealousy, abstinence, and wariness be your dress! Avoid scenes and situations that will incite your lusts to be safe from sins! Occupy yourselves with work, sport, and worships to be close to Allah, the Giver of happiness!