How can I get over issues of an unhappy childhood that involved abuse and divorce of my parents?

Question: The memories of my childhood and the problems of my family that led to the physical abuse and then to the divorce of my father and mother and the misfortunes that followed distress me. I do not know how to forget them. Whenever I remember them, I become so distressed that I lose my composure and I faint. There is no doubt that these things exhaust man’s strength and abilities, which he needs for success in his future. Would you please tell me how to be rid of this state?

The answer: One of the most important bases of raising children is the relationship between parents, which is based on love, respect, mutual understanding, and cooperation. It gives children spiritual and mental stability, and this is what you have lost in your childhood. However, this does not mean that you should apply to your life what happened to your parents. Every one has an independent will and his punishment near Allah does not have anything to do with others’ punishments. If you agree with me on this belief, which is a fact in our true religion, you should do the following:

1. Seize any opportunity to build your personality and gain the factors of success in your life!

2. Consider any success in your life as possible of being repeated and reproduced and do not stop after a certain point or satisfy yourself with what you have achieved!

3. Know well that man, whatever bitter memories may distress him or press on his nerves, is able to pass over them on condition that he trusts in his mental abilities and relies on his Lord.

4. Do not allow negative memories to overcome your heart! Try to omit them from your memory! Whenever they attack you, busy yourself with reciting the Holy Qur’an, reciting supplications, reading good books, and remembering your nice memories, or leave your place, perform ablution, and walk and ponder over nature, the sky and its stars, the sea and its wonders, the trees and their fruits, the flowers and their fragrances…

5. Read books that will help you build a faithful personality and learn the ways that the believers succeeded, and read about the great people in history! You will find that most of them have undergone in their childhood different family and social sufferings like orphanhood, homelessness, and injustice. Karbala16 of Imam Husayn (a.s.) gave us great lessons that were completed by Imam Husayn’s sister, Zaynab, who inspired the spirit of resistance in the orphans and captives until she turned the apparently victorious into the real defeated. On the other hand, successful discoveries and inventions have come after many failed experiments. Then, shake off the dust of your memories and extort from your parents’ failure your success!

source :For a Better Future