As mentioned earlier, risks and harms of sexual perversions, specially masturbation, which is sometimes called Onanism after a historical legend, are undeniable because it turns to “addiction” soon, a deep-rooted and fatal addiction so that the afflicted performs it several times a day, and even according to explicit confession of some afflicted people, sometimes the semen excretes from them only with “imagination and thinking”! without any other action!
Even more dangerous is despair and pessimism about encountering this addiction, because despair is the greatest hindrance for relief of the afflicted, and results in very undesirable spiritual reactions in them.
The afflicted should be sure that if they resolve, they can overcome this heinous habit, and even eliminate most of its effects and consequences in themselves in a short or somewhat long period.
They should never suggest to themselves that the addiction will last till the end of their life or its effects will remain forever.
Rather, they shall attempt to fight with full vigilance, decisive resolution and observance of “further instructions”.
Those who have been relieved from this heinous habit, should value their purity, and be vigilant to maintain it. They should avoid any satanic temptation, and must not leave their destiny to the aberrant and deviant associates at any rate.
As we have already mentioned, definite victory in struggle with any sort of wrong addiction, including dangerous sexual addictions or others, after hopefulness and confidence about victory, lies in making a firm decision (a strong decision relied on faith, character, nobility and conscience, and an unfailing and inviolable decision).
Even if the decision is broken ten times, they should make a stronger resolve again, and renew their decision with same hopefulness and faith.
However, the decisions finally affect their unconscious, and when they are accumulated, they will be effective.
Undoubtedly, when the resolve is not broken, effects of the heinous habits will be eliminated from their spirit and body much sooner.
It goes without saying that if such people establish a close relation and connection with their Lord, and seek help from His sacred presence, and trust in His mercy, it will be more fruitful under the grace of this religious faith.
Now, after these steps, following points shall be observed carefully. These points may seem simple for some people, but in practice, it is proved that they have a miraculous effect.
Avoiding all artificial stimulations
If the youths watch “sexy films” every night in the cinema or on television, and spend a major part of their valuable time reading “romantic fiction” and watching “provocative photos” of porn magazines, and ogle at half-naked females in the streets, and still expect not to be tainted, they are really wrong.
Such causes of “artificial stimulations” which are never necessary, divert the line of thought of any youth from the basic issues of life, and lead it towards the sexual issues in an acute and rebellious form.
They are constantly kept in a nervous anxious state, the adverse effects of which surround their entire life.
Continuation of constant provocation destroys the best period of life, i.e. youth period, and ruins the nerves of youths.
All dear youths, particularly those having some wrong sexual habits, should strictly avoid watching such films, reading such books, and any sort of deliberate leering to prevent disturbance of their mental tranquillity and weakening of their powerful nervous system with constant excitement.
In order to succeed in this part, it is necessary for them to choose healthy and suitable recreation and hobbies for their leisure, and prepare a suitable program with the help of their friends for this purpose.
These recreations may include personal and group sports, walking, useful reading, gardening, handicrafts, collecting poems, photos and stamps, and participation in various gatherings and scientific or moral conferences.
Preparing a full time program
The youths should prepare a program for all times of day and night for themselves to avoid even an hour of idle time.
We do not say that they should study or work continuously. Rather they should have a program even for their recreation and sport, with no free time.
The youths should know that the greatest misery for a youth is to have free time without any program.
A youth may be unemployed and a job seeker, but he should prepare a daily program, including study, recreation, rest, etc.
It is better if the youths prepare their daily program a little more compressed than their available time to prevent their mind from idleness even for a moment, because being mentally busy is very effective in avoiding such bad habits.
It is often observed that smokers smoke much more during holidays as compared to working days. The difference is the same result of engagement of mind, nervous system and body in the positive actions, and avoiding useless and harmful deeds on working days.
In brief, if those suffering from wrong sexual addictions, do not have a full time engaging program, they cannot get rid of this habit easily. Preparing such a program is one of the most effective factors in avoidance, and the addicted could overcome a major part of problems of their withdrawal in this way.
Focusing on sports
It is well known that sportsmen are undersexed, because a large part of their physical and mental energy is directed to sports, and naturally, less remains for other issues.
On this account, in order to prevent extreme sexual provocation, it is necessary for the youths to choose extensive and various sports programs.
Those afflicted to this evil habit are often secluded, unsociable, slow and dull. Seclusion, isolation and dullness worsens and intensifies their situation. If they change their state completely, and add mobility to their life, it would be very effective to their withdrawal, improvement and recovery.
Such people usually have a weak and feeble nervous system, while various and appropriate sports are significantly effective in strengthening their nervous system.
They should assign their extra and free time to different games, sports and walking to recover their health and also allocate a part of their physical and mental energy to sports.
To the same degree that mobility, personal and group sports are useful, isolation and seclusion is a lethal poison for them and they should avoid it at any rate.
Don’t forget this advice, and find its miraculous results. Exercise so much during the day that you become tired. Then, you will sleep well at night and be secure from the evil of many harmful and fateful imaginations and thoughts disturbing you at this time!
One habit shall be replaced by another
Psychologists say: For withdrawal from a bad habit, a good habit should be found to replace it.
For instance, those accustomed to gambling cannot give it up despite observing and feeling all its harms, and according to themselves, when it is the time of gambling, they do not know which power attracts them towards this action (condemned by their intellect and conscience) just like a slave and captive?! For overcoming such wrong habits, they should replace gambling with a proper game (like a sports match) to forget the bad habit.
In other words, the energy consumed by the habit shall be diverted elsewhere and consumed without leaving any undesirable reaction. (Pay attention)
For the wrong sexual habits, when the motive is created in the afflicted, they shall engage themselves in a program which they have already envisioned for such time, like a scientific activity, sports or intellectual competition, studying an interesting book, mountain climbing and riding etc. and continue it to replace the previous bad habit.
Absolute avoidance of loneliness
Such persons should certainly and unconditionally avoid loneliness.
They should never be alone, do not stay alone at home, do not sleep alone in the room, and do not go to a solitary place even for studying.
When they feel loneliness anywhere, they should leave that place immediately.
Such individuals should specially not forget this point that upon feeling the first provocation, they should rise and engage in something else. Neglecting this warning would often cost you much.
Loneliness is a very favourable in breeding the microbes of this addiction in the mind of any youth, and all youths wishing to be healthy, safe and secure from the great risks of masturbation, should
avoid loneliness.
Marry at the first opportunity
If possible, such individuals should marry at the first opportunity. Even if they can only be engaged (of course, a legal engagement with legal marriage contract), they should not lose this opportunity.
In short, marriage has a significant effect in struggle against this sexual perversion. If expectations are lessened and extra formalities eliminated, it would be a very easy and simple task. However, a series of dreams and wrong restrictions have chained most classes, including the educated and the unlearned.
Some addicted youths fear marriage, but their fear is really baseless, because by following these instructions it is easy to cure this addiction and succeed in all stages of marriage and matrimony.
Suggestion and strengthening of willpower
Suggestion has a critical role in struggle against this habit.
The addicted individuals should regularly suggest to themselves that they can give up this ugly habit completely.
In order to increase and expedite the effect of suggestion, as a French psychologist, (Dr. Victor Pushe) says: They should continue suggestion for several days as follows:
Every day, they should sit in a quiet place, where nothing disturbs them, and focus their mind and repeat this phrase articulately and strongly: I can give up this evil habit completely, I can!
Repeating this simple suggestion has an incredible impact on boosting their morale and withdrawal from this habit and any bad habit. (You can try it.)
Furthermore, we should not neglect reading psychological books written for stabilization and growth of character and strengthening of will power, because as we know and all the addicted succeeding in giving up this evil habit and other undesirable addictions have confessed, the first step in this path is “willpower and resolution”.
Absolute abstinence
One should completely avoid associating with individuals afflicted with this vice at all times specially during the period of struggle, as he avoids those suffering from cholera. Moreover, one should never neglect the fatal and painful harms and consequences of this action, and never listen to the tempting utterances of others.
The role of aberrant and bad associates in affliction by this perversion and its continuation is very amazing. For not feeling sin and misfortune, the afflicted try to make others afflicted. So, they always try to display this evil deed as pleasant and harmless, but the awakened youths are never entrapped in their satanic temptations.
General nourishment and diet
A perfect and healthy diet resulting in general nourishment is very effective in struggle against this habit, which mostly originates from or causes weak nervous system.
Bathing in cool water (of course, when the weather is good), and then body massage with towel too could help such individuals.
They should also strictly avoid wearing tight and close-fitting garments, which could cause artificial stimulation. Basically, such garments are harmful and even sometimes dangerous for all youths, and hurt their normal growth in addition to being provocative and tempting.
Seeking help from the power of faith and religious beliefs
The power of faith and religious belief could be the greatest help for the afflicted, and it could relieve them from this evil habit.
Such individuals should never consider themselves as cursed and reprobated individuals with God. Rather, one should trust in God’s mercy, pray, prostrate and confide to and invoke God, and request Him to help him in getting rid of this ugly habit. Definitely, if they turn to Him heartily, The Merciful God will help them and they will succeed in this vital conflict.
They should consider Him omnipresent and All-Seeing, and must not allow themselves to commit such an immoral action.
We are sure that if the afflicted youths observe the above instructions carefully just for a month, they will be relieved from this perversion.
http://www.al-islam.org/sexual-problems-youths-ayatullah-al-uzma-shaykh-nasir-makarim-shirazi
